Tag: fear

About your story

FabrizioLeave a comment

Why are you doing it?

Is it to get back at someone?

Is it a form of revenge?

Are you in it out of boredom?

Or perhaps because you feel you have no other chance.

Is it because someone is pushing you?

Or maybe because of someone else’s dream (a younger you perhaps).

If one of the above is the case, chances are that it will not work. Whatever you are doing, whatever you are up to these days, whatever you are planning for tomorrow will most likely fail if why you are doing it is because of others. In any shape or form.

Build a story from your experience, your practices, what you delivered, your purpose instead. And make it about it.

It will be your story. And it will make all the difference.

Fear to lose

FabrizioLeave a comment

When the main driver is the fear to lose what one has achieved, most likely there will be poor decisions, regret, and misery.

We need to be able to maintain a distance from our achievements. By all means, let’s be proud of them. But also remember that our job, our role, our income, our wealth, the praises we receive, the targets we met, the network we built. They are not a measure of our worth.

Nurture practices instead, craft a purpose that gives you meaning, stick to values you feel are right. Focus on what is in your power. That’s when you realize that when you fall, your foundations are solid, and you will have plenty of occasions to start afresh.

You will also find that you will fall less and less often.

Perhaps because we are all falling all the time.

Solution mode

Fabrizio2 Comments

Few things we should avoid saying in response to somebody who is coming to us with an issue.

You are wrong.

Don’t worry.

You are looking at it in the wrong way.

Well, that’s life!

What were you expecting?

I have no idea what you are talking about.

It happens to me all the time, but worst.

And it’s not that we should avoid them because they are mean, or wrong, or not helpful. We should avoid them because they do not allow the space for a deep conversation to happen.

The person coming to you will not learn anything new about how they feel and what the issue exactly is. You will not learn anything new about how you feel and what the issue exactly is. And perhaps even more importantly, the next time the person will not come to you to express concern.

Try instead unlocking deeper layers with open questions.

How does that make you feel?

That sounds important, tell me more about it.

It feels like a lot to take, what do you think?

And of course, sit down and truly listen. You cannot solve this right there.

If, when, and how

FabrizioLeave a comment

In life, as in business, it is often not a matter of if.

Things will happen that will mess with your plans, disturb your tranquillity, challenge your assumptions, force you to review your ideas.

On the other end, it is pointless to make it a matter of when.

You can’t control change, and timing might turn into an excuse to not do things. Tomorrow, when the right situation will present itself, after we have completed this, just one more time, and so on.

It turns out it is almost always a matter of how.

You are stronger if you have a practice, if you have a strategy, if you have a purpose, if you have a culture. Not because things will not happen right when you are not expecting them, but because you have something to step onto for the following leap.

It is always the right time for doing.

Your loss

FabrizioLeave a comment

Writing things down, making a public commitment, pinning an item on the calendar.

To some these actions mean being one step farther to actually doing.

It is a form of resistance. It does not matter if we are in charge or if someone else is in charge. The very same moment we are saying “I am going to do it”, an almost unconscious reaction is triggered that goes the opposite way: “I am not going to do it”.

The only cure is to deeply understand that no one cares.

Your boss might be disappointed, they will still be your boss. Your company might lose some money, they will most likely survive. Your friends are going to stop relying on you, and go find other friends. Your project will probably be delayed, and your audience is going to seek something else to give attention to.

The only one person who has deeply to lose from this behavior is you.