Tag: failure

Solution mode

Fabrizio2 Comments

Few things we should avoid saying in response to somebody who is coming to us with an issue.

You are wrong.

Don’t worry.

You are looking at it in the wrong way.

Well, that’s life!

What were you expecting?

I have no idea what you are talking about.

It happens to me all the time, but worst.

And it’s not that we should avoid them because they are mean, or wrong, or not helpful. We should avoid them because they do not allow the space for a deep conversation to happen.

The person coming to you will not learn anything new about how they feel and what the issue exactly is. You will not learn anything new about how you feel and what the issue exactly is. And perhaps even more importantly, the next time the person will not come to you to express concern.

Try instead unlocking deeper layers with open questions.

How does that make you feel?

That sounds important, tell me more about it.

It feels like a lot to take, what do you think?

And of course, sit down and truly listen. You cannot solve this right there.

Lapse

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What do you do when you miss an appointment, forget about something, fail to do what you promised you would?

You can hide, delay the difficult conversation until it gets too late to actually have it, never talk about that again, and miss the opportunity to own your lapse and grow.

Or you can say “I am sorry”.

Choose with intention.

Third kind

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Some companies decide to keep things loose. They have little hierarchy, initiatives can come from a variety of places as a response to a variety of inputs (customers, markets, intuition, experience, data, trials, mistakes, etc.), and the flexibility of the company makes it so it can adapt to changes and decisions fairly quickly without a lot of guidance.

Other companies decide to put structure around things. They build a clear hierarchy, initiatives often come from the top as a response to a limited amount of inputs (often gut feeling and previous experience), and the rigor of the company makes it so it will adapt to changes as quick as an heavy amount of guidance is deployed through its rank.

There is no right or wrong, you just have to figure out what works best for you and for the people that work with you and around you.

There is also a third kind of company. It is the company that puts structure while still wanting to keeping it loose. The company where decisions come from the top with the expectation that people will accept them just because. The company that pays lip service to the importance of its people while at the same time keeping them limited to tasks and urgencies. The company that struggles more than the others to adapt and change, just because nobody has a clear idea of what the hell is going on.

There are more company of the third kind than there are of the first and second combined.

You do not want your company to be of the third kind.

Your loss

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Writing things down, making a public commitment, pinning an item on the calendar.

To some these actions mean being one step farther to actually doing.

It is a form of resistance. It does not matter if we are in charge or if someone else is in charge. The very same moment we are saying “I am going to do it”, an almost unconscious reaction is triggered that goes the opposite way: “I am not going to do it”.

The only cure is to deeply understand that no one cares.

Your boss might be disappointed, they will still be your boss. Your company might lose some money, they will most likely survive. Your friends are going to stop relying on you, and go find other friends. Your project will probably be delayed, and your audience is going to seek something else to give attention to.

The only one person who has deeply to lose from this behavior is you.

Most awful

FabrizioLeave a comment

Most awful ideas, plans, products, services in business happen because nobody had the courage to speak against them.

It is a difficult thing to do when everybody is aligned. The risk (being excluded, being rejected, being fired) is just to big.

Many companies preach diversity of thought and the possibility to raise flags, very few though seek that with intention.

So next time try scheduling a meeting to collect issues. Send an invite to a workshop to identify risks and pitfalls. Have a chat with that experienced colleague to challenge your assumptions.