The reason why your value prop is full of “and”, your product is full of features, and your strategy is full of verticals and use cases (and exceptions to both), is that we are biased towards additive solutions.
We think that adding is better than subtracting when we look for solutions.
Of course, it is not.
But convincing others will always need a lot of work.
When you abuse your power and take advantage of those below you, you put your weakness on display.
When you pay someone one third of a fair salary just because they don’t know any better or they have no other choices.
When you share news that have negative impact on the receiver with a dry note.
When you ask for more despite knowing that a “no” would have negative consequences for the other.
When you point your finger towards someone who does not have it in them to counterargument.
Power is a responsibility towards those who don’t have as much.
When we make a mistake, that immediately becomes the center of our life. Who we are. What we can achieve. How far we can go.
We should instead put the mistake at the same level of our wins and successes. If we manage to give it context, the mistake will look much less threatening. How many times did we do it right? How often are we proud of our work? How much have we achieved so far? And if we are way down into failure mode, a friend or a partner can help us get out and see.
Mistakes are inevitable, the same way as successes are.
The moment you realize you care more about the outcome than about the process, is the moment you have to reassess how you spend your time.
If getting likes is more important than taking pictures.
If cashing the bonus is more important than the work you do.
If growing your audience is more important than writing.
If being acclaimed is more important than what you have to say.
If hitting the goal is more important than how you get to hit it.
That is the right time to look at the second half of your sentence, and honestly answer the question: “Am I enjoying that?”.
Most likely, you have mistaken a dopamine hit for actual pleasure and accomplishment.
It can happen, and you can do something about it.
Acceptance is not about taking what makes us miserable, shutting it in the closet, throwing away the keys, numbing the feelings that inevitably it will keep us giving, and pretending as if that does not exist.
Acceptance is taking what makes us miserable, understanding it, putting it front and center for a while, making friend with it, finding a way to go about our days despite it. Until eventually it will go shut itself in the closet by itself.
The former approach will make misery expand and take new forms. The latter will make it go away once and for all.
Two different ways. Two very different outcomes.
You've got this 