Not everything is a battle.
And not everything is a battle you are supposed to win.
Everyone is a main character to their own story. They have motives, ambitions, values, fears, faults. Just because they affirm those, it does not mean you are less valuable.
The sooner you accept this very difficult truth, the more at ease you will be with life.
Matches always start 0-0.
That’s why it’s so fascinating to start from scratch. When the ball is still, there are infinite possibilities. We can make it, no matter our skills, no matter the environment, no matter how much of an uphill battle it might be.
Of course, there are few memorable matches that ended 0-0.
Also, that’s not a score that gets you to win the championship.
It’s not bad to be told that you’ve done a poor job, that you have played poorly in the last match, that your performance is below the expectations.
It does not have to become a personal affront or a way for you (and others) to determine the quality of your future.
Of course, it hurts. Because you have probably given it your all.
But the direction of the motion that comes out of negative feedback is something you can control.
Sometimes people fail to succeed because they can’t accept to suck.
If you want to master something, you have to get accustomed to the idea that you are going to suck. You are going to suck at the thing you want to master – for a long time, before you actually master it -, and you are going to suck at most of the other things that you are not interested in mastering. That’s why it’s easier to move from one activity to the next, averaging them all.
Success requires a close familiarity with the idea that you suck.
There are two powerful instincts we need to fight when things don’t go as we’d like.
The instinct to hide, to go ahead as if nothing happened.
And the instinct to find an immediate, easy, known answer.
In both cases, we take a shortcut, as we are basically hoping that things will magically go back to normal. It might even be the case, but it is rare.
If we can fight those forces for long enough, a more rational approach might kick in. It’s when we start looking at the situation, we collect facts and data, we formulate hypothesis, we make changes, and we reassess.
Of course, it’s more complex, and it might even get us face-to-face with some hard truths we’d prefer to escape.
And it’s still the most reliable way to move on and progress.
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