How are you?
How do you feel?
How is your family?
What can I help you with?
What would make your daily routine better?
What do you want to tackle this week?
How would you go about this?
Is there anything on the calendar you want to push back/reschedule/cancel?
One cannot fake empathy. But these questions are a good way to practice and get accustomed to worry more about the well being of your team than the next looming deadline.
We are in this together.
Setting rules is necessary in some cases. And it’s also exhausting for both parts.
The one who sets the rule needs to first come up with the rule, then communicate it, then enforce it, punish non compliance and adapt the rule so that it gets to cover new cases and new behaviour.
The one who is subjected to the rule needs to understand it, absorb it, find ways to work within the boundaries set by it, and perhaps at some point fight to have it changed.
There are few things that create a greater divide than rules.
If you truly have to set one, be sure it comes from a place of recognized expertise and authority, it is well communicated and it is open-ended.
And despite the best efforts, be prepared to have the bond of trust broken.
There is a tension between execution and challenge.
Execution is about getting things done. When you execute, you act on assumptions, hoping that those assumptions are correct. Assumptions come from experience and from socialization (the assumptions of others), and in most cases they help us get by.
Challenge is about changing things. That’s when assumptions get questioned, when you are seeking a different way, something new. Challenge is a more solitary job than execution, and it requires additional energy to buy people into your new perspective.
Balancing the two is necessary. If you only execute, things will not progress, you will not progress. If you only challenge, you will soon deplete all your energy, and eventually be left alone.
What are you going to settle for?
What are you going to fight for?
Be aware of the composition of these two buckets.
People seek reassurance. That’s true also for business buyers. And so, the sense of urgency, threat, panic that transpires from your content is most likely driving them away.
People seek reassurance. That’s true also for employees. And so, the unilateral changes, the top-down priority, the additional stress that are communicated with dry words are most likely driving them away.
It goes without saying.
“Now more than ever …”.
You can find great lessons everywhere, even in books you are just reading for pleasure and enjoyment.
“There is satisfaction,” he said to Dalinar, “in creating a list of things you can actually accomplish, then removing them one at a time. As I said, a simple joy.”
“Unfortunately, I’m needed for bigger things than shopping.”
“Isn’t that always the problem? Tell me, my friend. You talk about your burdens and the difficulty of the decision. What is the cost of a principle?”
“The cost? There shouldn’t be a cost to being principled.”
“Oh? […] Isn’t a principle about what you give up, not what you gain?”
“So it’s all negative?” Dalinar said. “Are you implying that nobody should have principles, because there’s no benefit to them?”
“Hardly,” Nohadon said. “But maybe you shouldn’t be looking for life to be easier because you choose to do something that is right! Personally, I think life is fair. It’s merely that often, you can’t immediately see what balances it.”
Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer
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