Tag: empowerment

Past commitments

Fabrizio1 Comment

When you are on the wrong track, the wisest thing to do is to change course.

It’s complicated, because even if we often know when it is time, we fail to grasp clear reasons why and we fail to act. It’s that combination of past commitments and unconscious awareness that things are not working. It’s that place where projects and enteprises go to die.

When this surfaces, we should be brave enough to take the commitment out of the equation. Forget about the time we have put in, the energy, the money, the people we have brought onboard, the ones we would fail, the knowledge, the connections and relationships, the opportunities.

If we keep looking back, we won’t move forward.

You are right

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you are in an argument, understand this: as long as the two sides stand firm in their respective positions, no progress is possible.

If you just keep repeating your view, even with different words and from a different perspective, even if in time that view gets substantiated by additional facts and events, even when you get to the point in which you raise the ante certain it’s going to be the final move, most likely nothing is going to happen. Except, the other part is probably going to be even more convinced you are wrong.

Get into every argument open enough to be able to say “you are right”. Accept that the person in front of you is not idiot, delusional and mean. At the very least, try to ask questions to understand what they care about, what’s their sets of values, how is it so that they see the world so differently from you.

And then, try to build on that. Find common ground, things both of you find important, see their arguments as an opportunity for you to learn something, thank them for raising your awareness on something you were totally blind to.

Should that really not be possible, change the narrative. Run from the argument, reach for a topic that is not so directly in contrast with the other’s point of view, focus on explaining what you want to achieve.

Staying in the argument would just be a waste of time.

A way to hide

FabrizioLeave a comment

For years, I have built a narrative for which everything that happened was done to me.

I had the feeling everyone and everything was against my legitimate pursuit of happiness and success, I was constantly complaining about any tiny little difficulty, I would break relationships because in front of my grandiose gestures the counterpart would not reciprocate.

Now I am lucky enough to see that was a convenient way to hide.

Hide from my responsibilities as human being, employee, partner and friend, and most of all hide from my feelings. If others and external circumstances were responsible for them, why should I bother investigating them further? The most reasonable thing to do would be to simply build a wall around myself and make it as impenetrable as possible.

We are powerless with respect to what is going to happen tomorrow, and yet we can have total control on the way we are going to face, absorb and narrativize it. That’s where we should spend most of our time: building this form of control.

To accuse others for one’s own misfortune is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one’s education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one’s education is complete.

Epictetus

Consistency

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Consistency is about understanding what matters to you, and then relentlessly act in agreement with that.

Of course, not all the things can matter. What is important to you? Is it punctuality, honesty, openness, candour, performance, trustworthiness, impact, family, work, relationships, knowledge, expertise, power, generosity, compassion, empathy, confidence, independence, audacity, heroism, harmony, challenge, … . How do you define that in a way that makes it important to you?

That is the first step, one that is often overlooked. Be careful with your choice, because the second part is going out there in the world and showing up every day, in private and in public, in agreement with whatever you have chosen.

If you value punctuality, you should not be late, and when you are, you should apologise and repair.

If you value generosity, jealously clinging to what you have is probably not your thing.

If you value power, you might not want to turn and wait when somebody is left behind.

It sounds difficult, and it is. But the alternative is changing the way you act when the wind changes, following the mood of the moment: demanding openness today and complaining for getting it tomorrow; promoting honesty in the morning and lying in the afternoon; building a career on audacity and charisma and pretending people will believe you are a considerate leader that seeks harmony.

We know how this feels, so the work needed to achieve consistency is worth it.

Applying

FabrizioLeave a comment

Few suggestions for the first step in a job application.

  • Though it depends on the role, for most two pages are enough: one for the cover letter, one for the CV.
  • Cover letter and CV are NOT supposed to say the same things. They are two sides of a coin.
  • This is a weird coin, as it as other sides too. So make sure that what you say in your application is consistent with what you say in public online (profiles descriptions, public posts, LinkedIn profile duh!, and so on).
  • The CV needs to feature the more relevant work experiences (if you have many, make a selection and add one or two sentences to summarise the rest); your education; your contacts; your relevant skills (list them, no elaboration needed). All the rest can be added IF you still have space in the page, but be considerate.
  • It is not necessary to customise the CV for every application, though it is possible.
  • It is absolutely necessary to customise the cover letter for every application.
  • Customisation for the cover letter means: the name of the person you are writing to (you can almost always find it); the name of the company you are applying to work for (sounds trivial, right?); a couple of sentences on why you are interested in the company; the key points in your career and life that make you a good candidate for the role AND the company.
  • These key points are the corner stone of the cover letter. Make them 2 or 3 maximum. Be sure that your narrative fits well with the position you are applying for AND (again) the company. Do not just state what you did or when, more importantly say what you/your team achieved and why it does matter.
  • In closing the cover letter, include everything that is very important to you (salary request, availability to travel, need for home office, etc.).
  • Once CV and cover letter are ready, read them once again. Delete all that is unnecessary (there is probably around a 10-15% at least).
  • Read everything again.