Tag: empowerment

Be dumb

Fabrizio2 Comments

When you ask dumb questions, people get often irritated and dismissive. But if you explain that you are asking simply because you do not genuinely know, they are usually happy to help. They can also go great lengths to make it click for you.

There are benefits in taking a dumb approach to things, new things in particular. Understanding why something is done in a certain way can unlock new meaning, and eventually you will become better at expressing yourself.

Next time you are in a meeting, and somebody nonchalantly asks “you know that, right?”, or says “you have certainly heard about this”, or mentions a term you are not familiar with. Instead of nodding and pretending, stop and ask the dumb question: “can you explain that, please?”.

You will not loose status. You will gain the possibility to learn.

Fair

Fabrizio1 Comment

If you look around for fairness, you will find little of it.

Different people see the world in different ways, and fair becomes a fluid concept when you change perspective.

If you look inside for fairness, on the other hand, that is something you can more easily work with. You can train it, build it, apply it, and eventually spread it around. You can make it contagious, and impact those who are close to you.

And it all starts with being fair to yourself. What can you expect of you? What will you hold yourself accountable for? How will you express this to others, how will your actions impact them, and how are you going to find out?

Before asking the world to be fair, ask that of yourself. Imagine if everyone would do that.

A different way

Fabrizio2 Comments

When you feel like you want to lash out at somebody.

Get aggressive, forget about manners, say it as it is. Ask a provocative question, answer in a passive aggressive tone. Send an irate reply, or no reply at all. Take it public, escalate it, raise the flag.

There is one question you should ask yourself first.

Why?

It is often so that, when that emotion takes us, we want to act to get it out, to relieve ourselves, to trade a long-term effect for a short-term boost.

If it is change we want, we have to find a different way.

Harsh

Fabrizio2 Comments

You can resort to raising your voice to establish a power dynamic in an argument you are having, but you will not make the argument go away.

You can rush telling your piece before the other person has even done speaking, but you will not appreciate what the other has to say.

You can shout to get the attention, but you will not keep it to change minds and behaviours.

Relationships are never built with harsh manners and rude self-centrism.

And it is relationships you want to build, throughout all your life.

On hold

Fabrizio1 Comment

When we hear, read, or consume content, all we get is often about us.

Our fears, expectations, experience, knowledge. What we think about the author, about the medium, about the source. The day we are having, the day we are not having. Likes and dislikes. How confident we are today, what we have been told yesterday, where we are going tomorrow.

In order for us to learn, we need to be able to put all that on hold. To make it about the one delivering the message. To suspend our reaction and just be hearing, reading, consuming content in the moment.

If we do not that, everything will just be a confirmation of what we already know.