The point is not being right.
The point is feeling confident enough to take action, while at the same time feeling diffident enough to keep our senses awake.
If we spend most of the day trying to be right, we lose. We lose energy, we lose focus, we lose opportunities, we lose relationships. We lose the very same resources we need to learn and progress.
Find the motivation to do in the conviction that you don’t know.
It is self-renewing energy.
There is no next step, there is no future success, there is no expected achievement.
There is just now.
And you have to learn to enjoy it.
Even when it all feels wrong.
Especially when it all feels wrong.
Two reasons why many arguments fail to move the conversation forward and develop the relationship – from the beautiful book by Steven Pinker, The Sense of Style.
When we avoid falling into these traps, we find the place for learning and growth.
Arguments should be based on reasons, not people.
Steven Pinker
What do you do when someone comes to you with an idea you find hopeless or inadequate?
You denigrate the idea, saying it is a bad one and it does not deserve any of your time.
You force change onto the idea to make it fit with what you think might be a better idea.
You begin a conversation and try to compromise to get the idea nearer to you.
You support the idea and say you will do your best to help.
I guess much depends on how invested you are in the topic. A manager might find it difficult to support something that might take time and resources and return no results; a friend might be more open to keep their opinions to themselves and help instead.
Relationships are built and broken on these type of choices. Get to them with intention and care.
We want to protect others.
We don’t want to hurt feelings, share unpleasant truths, give negative feedback. We refrain from difficult conversations, and we let issues escalate until they become too big to be tackled. We rarely push. We almost never ask. We always assume it is not the right time.
We want to protect others. And by doing that, we protect ourselves.
It is a noble intention. Let’s just not take cover behind it every time we are not ready to leap.
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