Good and bad things happen at all times, all the time.
We just need to focus our attention on those that make us feel fine.
Simple, not easy.
Tag: empowerment
The more, the less
The more people are asked to give opinions on a project, the more urgent it is and the less important it is.
The more people are cc’ed in an email thread, the more urgent it is and the less important it is.
The more reviews and approvals a piece of work needs, the more urgent it is and the less important it is.
The more involvement in a project from upper management and executive team, the more urgent it is and the less important it is.
The more a decision is changed (in a short span of time), the more urgent it is and the less important it is.
Urgent is about fear, uncertainty, stress, distraction, pretense.
Important is about strategy, focus, long-term, doing, control.
When something is important, set the stage and clear the way. If you are doing your job right, somebody will own it and see to it till the final step.
From a good place
You can be vulnerable by sharing your negative feelings, and you can be vulnerable by sharing the positive ones as well.
Tell that you feel happy, accomplished, in love, serene, successful, at peace, lucky, grateful, loved, accepted, at ease. You will be more exposed than you have ever been, and still be in a state of mind that will help you deal with the exposure and familiarize with it.
Training to be more vulnerable does not have to start from your deepest and darkest emotions. Go from a good place instead. It’s not necessarily easier, surely quite as effective.
Little control
You have little control on the lives of others.
The way they act, what they feel, how they behave. What they are going to do. Whether they are happy or sad. Whether they are decent human beings or treat everyone unfairly. The choices they are going to make. How they are going to react to a bad turn of events. The impact they will have in the world.
The most you can hope for is to show a way. To give kindness and presence. To make mistakes and say you are sorry. To be sad and talk about it. To be happy and share the feeling with those you love. To play, laugh, and support.
At some point, you have to let go. Before that, be the best version of yourself.
Distance and neutrality
Empathy requires distance and neutrality.
It might sound counterintuitive, and still it is an important point.
Only with distance and neutrality you can refrain from judgement and keep the bias for action at bay. Only with distance and neutrality you can avoid being overwhelmed by what the other person is feeling, to the point you might turn into a paladin for their cause (and cut out all the rest).
Empathy is acceptance.
You've got this 