Tag: empathy

Uncomfortable

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When you feel uncomfortable, the first immediate reaction is to point the finger and fix something outside of your reach. You might yell, give clearer instructions, take ownership, write a negative review, demote, reject, shut down.

But of course, that works (for you, perhaps) only until the feeling is back – for the same reason, or a different one.

And so, a better approach is to ask: What is this? Where does it come from? What can I do to make the feeling bother me less? (vs. What can I do to make the feeling go away? – which often leads to one of the reactions above.)

You might even end up getting rid of the feeling altogether, but that is not the point.

The point is being with, letting go, accepting.

Because, in the end, it’s not that bad.

Not capable

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When a platform welcomes hatred, harassment, violence, disrespect.

Why should you spend time on it?

Why should your kids spend time on it?

How can we possibly glorify it?

What makes people invest money on it?

The point, there’s a choice to make. And we seem to be consistently not capable of making the right one.

Two outcomes

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Most of the decisions we take bring change in other people’s lives, jobs, situations. And they might not be just ready to accept that.

When involving people in the decision itself is not possible, you need to at least allocate time for them to digest it, settle into it, and decide whether they are going to stick around or not.

And you need to be open to both outcomes.

More interesting questions

FabrizioLeave a comment

We wonder what is acceptable, what is right, what makes a good wife or a good husband, what makes a good parent, a good friend, a good employee, a good colleague.

And while wondering that, we often take an outside perspective, as we put most of the emphasis on what others think.

But what is acceptable for us? What do we believe is right, wrong, good, fair, worthy of respect? Where do we draw our line? And what are we going to do to make it so others will accept that?

Those are way more interesting questions.

Help them move forward

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you approach a customer support ticket, a negative review, a cancellation request with a defensive mindset, you will always fail.

When people approach you with a problem, they are not interested in hearing that it’s not your fault. They might be seeking a solution, a clean cut, a way to rant. Never will they want to hear a closing statement from your defence attorney.

What do you want to achieve and what do they want to achieve are two important things to consider in these cases.

You have a system to monitor your customers opinions because you want to know when things go wrong and try to remedy that, possibly changing people’s attitude towards your brand. Then why is it rarely your fault, why is confrontation often the go-to tactic, why is empathy the last thing that’s being taught to your people?

And on the other hand, customers do very often reach out because they care and they want to share. They are unsure about what happened, they are hurt because things did not work out as they expected, they want to know they have not done a terrible choice.

So, when you see a customer support ticket, a negative review, a cancellation request, keep in mind you are not there to prove a point.

You are just there to help the other move forward.