Tag: empathy

Thoughts, words, and acts

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A kind thought is nice, but it’s not enough. A thought stays in your mind and unless you do something about it, you are the only one who is going to know of it.

A kind word is nice, but it’s not enough. A word is a superficial manifestation and not necessarily a truthful one.

A kind act is nice, but it’s not enough. An act is immediately visible, it can be used to hide an intent, to pursue an unkind agenda.

The only way is to be kind with thoughts, words, and acts. To yourself first, and then to others.

Because candid kindness is contagious.

Defensive

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It’s so easy to feel attacked when somebody gives you critical feedback or even just points at some mistake you made. It’s even easier when you are tired, when you are going through a rough patch, when you have had bad experiences in your past, or when you are generally not used to get feedback.

If you can just hold your thoughts for a little longer, though, you can see that’s not the feedback that’s hurting. It’s the tiredness, the fear, the stress, the insecureness.

Say it.

“I’m tired”.

“I’m under a lot of stress and I needed an easy win”.

“I’m sorry, I will fix that, it’s just something I don’t feel particularly confident with”.

That little labelling exercise will completely shift the narrative. From defensive you become open. And when you are open, anything can happen.

Be the guide

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If you want people to listen to you, use their own agenda, their language, their motivators.

If you want people to act, show them yourself.

If you want people to change, help them reflect and find their way.

There’s this idea that bossing people around is effective. It’s only partially true. You might get people to listen, to act, to change by commanding them, but that’s never going to stick.

They are the heroes to their own story. At most, you can be the guide.

The basis of a relationship

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Relationships are hard work. All relationships.

That’s mainly because in a relationship we are asked to take something into consideration that we are incapable of understanding: the other party involved.

It takes a lot of work to just accept this simple fact. That understanding is not the basis of a relationship.

Caring is.

One of many

FabrizioLeave a comment

There have been studies before, and there will be more in the future. And this one is yet another confirmation that companies get most of employees motivation wrong.

What people seek is a sense of autonomy (I can choose the work I do), relatedness (I belong with my colleagues), and competence (I master what I do). If you’re not working to ensure your people get to experience these, you are missing out, and your company is just one of many.

Good luck!