Tag: empathy

Tough job

FabrizioLeave a comment

Two things about leadership I got reminded about in the past week.

First, if you want to start a conversation on a challenging problem, do not put your idea forward. Not in the beginning, not in the middle, not at the end. Sit down and listen instead, and see if some elements of your idea can support somebody else’s idea.

Second, if somebody comes to you with a question, a problem, something to share, listen to them. Saying that you are busy, that it’s not important, that you don’t care (right now) is equivalent to breaking the relationship. If you really cannot listen now, apologise and go back to it later. It will be worth it.

Leadership is tough job. Hope you are getting the support you need.

Fear

FabrizioLeave a comment

Fear means you care.

Fear means you will think twice.

Fear means long-term matters to you.

Fear means you are learning.

Fear means you are not alone.

Fear is good, and when you accept it in your life, name it, verbalize it, it is a lot less scary than you think.

Quarreling

FabrizioLeave a comment

Why are you so involved in this quarrel?

It is an honest question to ask yourself, particularly when things stall and no progress is made towards a resolution.

More often than not, we discuss to feed our ego.

Of course, we believe our perspective is the right one (the people we are discussing with do believe theirs is too). But deep down, we do not know. And experience should tell us that minimum variations to a plan, to a campaign, to a project, do not return major fluctuations in the outcome under most circumstances.

So, why are you so involved in this quarrel?

Consider the scenario in which you win, and see if the impact on the context you are seeking to affect would be bigger than the time, the energy, the foregone opportunities you are investing right now.

Making a step back and giving way is probably the most productive thing you can do. That’s a way to cultivate the focus you need to change the world.

All the difference

FabrizioLeave a comment

Discussing a plan, an idea, a project, a strategy with somebody who’s on a different agenda is challenging.

To push it through, you might be tempted to do one or more of the following.

Make it about the lack of alternatives – i.e. if we don’t do this, we will do nothing.

Make it about the very reason why the group exists – i.e. if we don’t do this, we will disappear.

Make it about something that is happening right here, right now – i.e. if we don’t do this, we will lose the opportunity.

Make it about the will of somebody in power – i.e. if we don’t do this, they will be disappointed.

These are shortcuts. Their main effect is to plant the seed of resistance in those listening. Depending on the circumstance, you might get the desired outcome (the plan, the idea, the project, the strategy will be executed). Yet eventually it will be a bare minimum outcome, something you yourself will be unwilling to put forward.

An alternative approach would be the following: here is what we want to achieve, how do we go about it? When you give people a problem instead of a thing to do, you’ll unlock their creativity and expertise. And they will be committed to delivering their best work, something you yourself will be proud to put forward.

It makes all the difference.

Do better

FabrizioLeave a comment

Asking others to do better, to be better is missing perspective.

A more productive approach would be enquiring about what you can do to enable them to do better, to be better. And follow up with what is needed.

An even more productive approach would be to figure out how you can do better, be better. And by simply doing that, make those around you shine brighter, achieve more, reach higher.

Finally, we could take it on our own to change the environment and the rules of the game so that what others are doing or the way they are would already be better.

When we ask others to do better, to be better we sort of take our own responsibility out of the picture. Yet, it feels to me there’s quite a lot we can do to achieve exactly the better we want others to achieve.