The point is not being right.
The point is feeling confident enough to take action, while at the same time feeling diffident enough to keep our senses awake.
If we spend most of the day trying to be right, we lose. We lose energy, we lose focus, we lose opportunities, we lose relationships. We lose the very same resources we need to learn and progress.
Find the motivation to do in the conviction that you don’t know.
It is self-renewing energy.
There is no next step, there is no future success, there is no expected achievement.
There is just now.
And you have to learn to enjoy it.
Even when it all feels wrong.
Especially when it all feels wrong.
Two reasons why many arguments fail to move the conversation forward and develop the relationship – from the beautiful book by Steven Pinker, The Sense of Style.
When we avoid falling into these traps, we find the place for learning and growth.
Arguments should be based on reasons, not people.
Steven Pinker
What do you do when someone comes to you with an idea you find hopeless or inadequate?
You denigrate the idea, saying it is a bad one and it does not deserve any of your time.
You force change onto the idea to make it fit with what you think might be a better idea.
You begin a conversation and try to compromise to get the idea nearer to you.
You support the idea and say you will do your best to help.
I guess much depends on how invested you are in the topic. A manager might find it difficult to support something that might take time and resources and return no results; a friend might be more open to keep their opinions to themselves and help instead.
Relationships are built and broken on these type of choices. Get to them with intention and care.
After becoming a leader, there is a choice you have to make.
As you are in the middle, many think the choice is between siding with management and siding with your team. But the truth is, the two sides are not at war. And a huge part of your responsibilities as a leader is to not act as if they were.
The tension is instead between you and your team.
Every request from the people you lead will cut into your time, energy, and focus. You will not be able to do what you were doing before, what you were good at before. They will ask, demand, pretend, guess, second guess, and ask some more. They will push you to do things you are not used to. They will force you to have conversations you would normally avoid. They will expect that you raise above yourself, often without any guidance, and act as the leader you are paid to be.
And so the choice is between being who you are and being who your team wants and needs you to be.
Not many people are willing to let go – of their ideas, of their ways, of their habits, of their responsibilites, of their work, of their ego.
Not many people are good leaders.
You've got this 