Tag: communication

Jabbering

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Your company was established in 1845 by your great-great-great-grandfather and has, since then, achieved tremendous success all over the world.

You have a cutting edge technology that future proofs companies and enhances workforce efficiency and productivity of front-end and back-end employees.

You are going to revolutionise the industry and establish your organisation as the de facto leader in a niche that is recording a CAGR of 55%.

Your team is composed of digital artisans, experts who are passionate about creating bespoke websites and experiences.

Your event features panelists and thought leaders from 126 countries and 456 organisations across 59 industries.

And all everyone else hears is the following.

Note: they focused on customer success too!

Full control

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There is a popular meme that tells about the relationships between a job done fast, well, and cheap. You can do a job fast and well, you can do it well and cheap, you can do it cheap and fast. What you can’t do is fast, well, and cheap at the same time.

Source: The Developer Society, Good/Cheap/Fast

The meme fails to tell another truth, though. A bane to many companies. That is: you can’t do a job fast, well, or cheap if you want to maintain full control on the outcome.

You can’t do fast, because when the job is ready, there are still review phases to go through. Often featuring vague feedback, last minute changes, and unsubstantiated personal opinions.

You can’t do cheap, because all the layers you are adding have a cost. And even more expensive is the price you pay for the people who leave once they realize their talent comes after tenure.

You can’t do well, because by the time you get to the finish line, what you have is a frankestein that satisfies everyone and excites no one.

So, if your goal is to maintain full control on the outcome, any of the combinations in the meme is a much better path to execution. Change, or be prepared to be kicked out of the game.

False dichotomies

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Two reasons why many arguments fail to move the conversation forward and develop the relationship – from the beautiful book by Steven Pinker, The Sense of Style.

  1. We approach the argument as if it were a dichotomy. Black or white. Right or wrong. Good or evil. For as much as this is convenient to survive, it is not a great representation of how things actually are. And it is certainly not a path to understanding.
  2. We make it personal. It is rarely about finding the truth or the better course of action. It is about beating your opponent. Who is motivated by the wrong values, less intelligent, and not as refined.

When we avoid falling into these traps, we find the place for learning and growth.

Arguments should be based on reasons, not people.

Steven Pinker

Support

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What do you do when someone comes to you with an idea you find hopeless or inadequate?

You denigrate the idea, saying it is a bad one and it does not deserve any of your time.

You force change onto the idea to make it fit with what you think might be a better idea.

You begin a conversation and try to compromise to get the idea nearer to you.

You support the idea and say you will do your best to help.

I guess much depends on how invested you are in the topic. A manager might find it difficult to support something that might take time and resources and return no results; a friend might be more open to keep their opinions to themselves and help instead.

Relationships are built and broken on these type of choices. Get to them with intention and care.

Not many people

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After becoming a leader, there is a choice you have to make.

As you are in the middle, many think the choice is between siding with management and siding with your team. But the truth is, the two sides are not at war. And a huge part of your responsibilities as a leader is to not act as if they were.

The tension is instead between you and your team.

Every request from the people you lead will cut into your time, energy, and focus. You will not be able to do what you were doing before, what you were good at before. They will ask, demand, pretend, guess, second guess, and ask some more. They will push you to do things you are not used to. They will force you to have conversations you would normally avoid. They will expect that you raise above yourself, often without any guidance, and act as the leader you are paid to be.

And so the choice is between being who you are and being who your team wants and needs you to be.

Not many people are willing to let go – of their ideas, of their ways, of their habits, of their responsibilites, of their work, of their ego.

Not many people are good leaders.