Tag: communication

Complaints

Fabrizio1 Comment

If you got something that bothers you, and you would like to complain with your friends, colleagues, boss, partner. First, consider the following questions.

Is there anything I can do about it?
Can I think of a way to make it better?
Can I contribute to the discussion to come up with a solution?

If the answer to these questions is no, then the “something” is probably out of your reach, and you’d probably better not to complain about it in the first place.

There’s a caveat. Abuse, in any form, in any situation, is never acceptable, and you should always bring that up and seek help.

In all other cases, do act only if by doing so you are seeking support and resources in overcoming the situation. Complaining without an idea, a plan, sounds a lot like complaining for the sake of complaining. In general, people don’t like it.

 

Be the one who moves and turns

FabrizioLeave a comment

Had an interesting conversation with a colleague today, that quickly turned into a topic that I consider very important nowadays. For our personal life, for our professional life, for our life as human beings walking on the World.

I feel the public discourse is flattening to a very dangerous extent.

It’s not only a matter of polarization, it’s mainly a continuous repetition of the flaws of the other side. It might seem, on the surface, that there is a desire to change the other’s opinion or behaviour. But what I find appalling is that actually there is more of a desire to just repeat what was said yesterday, in an endless loop that leaves everybody in the same place they where before. There is no progress. Because the target of what is said is increasingly the people that have our own same opinion.

We have stopped trying to understand what led us here. We are just repeating mantras (“fake news” vs “racist”, “America first” vs “globalism”, “tremendous economy” vs “devastating inequalities”) that resonate with the people that are already on our side. Be it because we need to sell more, because we need to keep the votes, or because we need to constantly re-affirm our self and group identity.

So, the question is: do we care?

If we don’t, that’s fine, we are on the right path.

If we do, I have an idea to share. It’s not mine, I believe it is a Buddhist idea, and I have heard it narrated by Pema Chödrön.

She tells the story of two people that meet, and start talking. They talk about what they see, the World they know. One is facing the ocean, and tells about the greatness of it, the beauty of its blue, the smell of the water. One is facing a forest, and tells of how dense it is, how tall the trees are, how incredible it would be to venture there. They soon end up arguing, as they cannot find a common perspective. Until the one facing the ocean moves to the side of the other and turns. And then, they start describing the forest together.

If you do care. If you seek change. If you want to move past the terrible impasse that is sucking up our future. Be the one who moves and turns. Find the other’s perspective.

P.S.: I am sorry I could not find the exact quote and link from Pema Chodron. I might have changed the characterization a bit, but I am confident the one I shared has the same underlying meaning. Should I find it, I will make sure to update this post.

 

 

Perspectives

FabrizioLeave a comment

In Vietnam, the Vietnam War is known as the American War.

We can spend time trying to explain others that our worldview is correct and theirs is wrong. Perhaps eventually, exhausted, they will agree. And yet, that will not change the way they view things.

What we can more efficiently invest resources on, instead, is understanding that our appreciation of the World is very narrow, as is everybody’s. The more different and diverse ideas we are exposed to, the less narrow it will become. The wiser we will grow. The nearer to each other we will feel.

Why not starting today?

Marketing and social media

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Gary Vaynerchuck often repeats that as a marketer, the only thing he cares about is where the attention of the people is.

This is something I very much respect. Marketers should not be in a personal relationship with any platform, tool, channel. They should care about finding ways to establish a connection with their audience. What Gary Vee says is particularly important in a World in which many marketers still think that they _NEED_ a Facebook page, an Instagram account or a Pinterest strategy.

But I am struggling more and more to distinguish my identity as a marketer and my identity as a (decent) human being.

So, what happens if the attention of the people is on a channel that is increasingly damaging shares of the population and of society?

It is not my intention to be paternalistic nor bigot in approaching such dilemma. I just want us to consider when we should start caring about the fact that our marketing money is feeding unhealthy behaviour, toxic and dangerous ecosystems or openly wrong actions.

I have no answers, unfortunately. Yet these are questions of growing importance for me.

Should we care? Probably yes.

Should our business targets make us blind towards this (or this)? Probably not.

Is there a way to be relevant marketing-wise if we remove the most popular tools a marketer has in this age and time? That deserves a lot more consideration, and I hope this blog will help me elaborate in that direction.

Busyness is laziness

Fabrizio7 Comments

As counter intuitive as it might sound, I find this Buddhist teaching very relevant to the World we live in today.

“I am busy” is a story we all tell ourselves and others, and it is a very convenient way to avoid facing what matters and the reality of everyday. We hide behind a wall of importance and hectic behaviour. And this is particularly serious, I believe, when “I am busy” is no longer a way to describe our current, temporary status, but a way to tell about who we are and how feel.

When you are too busy to honor your highest priorities – which are understanding your life, discovering your wisdom, and offering your heart – that is a sign that you’ve let something slip because of laziness.

Susan Piver, Start Here Now

Next time somebody is asking “how are you?”, avoid the “I am busy” trap and take a moment to reflect on how you actually feel and what is appropriate to share with the other (and how). That might start a very different conversation than the unsympathetic one we got used to. And it might also be a nice way to begin rethinking your priorities and what to dedicate time to from there on.