Tag: bias

Creatures of inputs

FabrizioLeave a comment

You need to deploy a lot of strength to get rid of bad habits.

If you check your phone every five minutes, that’s a feeling of continuos anticipation of what you might learn.

If you read work emails in the evenings, that’s a feeling of commitment and importance and busyness.

If you eat a sweet snack four or five times a day, that’s a feeling of satisfaction and fullness.

Of course, tha aftermath of a bad habit is never as good as the moment that leads to it. But we are creatures of inputs, not creatures of outputs. We care about what comes before – the thoughts, the wondering, the emotions.

That’s why you need strength to get rid of a bad habit. Start with the phone, the emails, the snack, whatever you know will lead you there.

Half measures do not work in this case.

Master of time

FabrizioLeave a comment

I don’t have time for this.

It sounds a lot better when you say instead.

I have made a decision not to invest time in this.

That is a more honest thing to say. It also shows awareness and determination. It denotes you are in control of how you spend your day and it holds you responsible for the things your are not doing.

Time is not an entity we can control. What we do with it, instead, is something we can learn to master.

No solutions

FabrizioLeave a comment

People who come to you with a problem is rarely asking you to find the solution.

It is about talking it through with someone, letting it all out, righting thoughts that might be taking the wrong turn.

We hear a problem, we want to fix it.

And that harms the relationship.

Stay with what you have heard, sit there and listen, nudge the other in the direction they want to go – what else? and tell me more about his.

This helps.

Free of hubris

FabrizioLeave a comment

You need to be able to keep success and self-worth separated.

For two reasons.

First, because success is the outcome of many inputs, most of which out of our control. Luck, for example, plays a huge role. Others do as well, whether we recognize their contribution or not.

Secondly, because we need to be ready to maintain the same distance when success turns into failure. We are not worst human beings (or writers, fathers, marketers) merely because we are failing.

Understanding that success is not a reflection of how good we are keeps us grounded and maintains our horizon wide open. Ready to appreciate the complexity of things and continue learn from it.

Free of hubris.

Active break

Fabrizio1 Comment

Remember to take a break.

When things go bad. When you feel down. When the motivation is low.

Take a break and direct your attention away from what is not working.

Learn something, instead of dedicating one more hour to the project that’s sucking your life away.

Chat with a stranger, instead of repeating the same things yet another time to the friend that is hurting you.

Grab a book, instead of checking your inbox once more waiting for the message that never comes.

You can always go back to the problem later on.

Refreshed.