Tag: bias

Before and after

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What you are today is nothing compared to what you will be tomorrow.

And what you are today is massively more compared to what you were yesterday.

Life is continuous progress. Many look for success in what lies ahead – I will have more – while at the same time regretting the lack of what once was – I was better off. The point is to completely revert the perspective, and start measuring success looking at the path so far while aspiring to what comes next.

It’s always the journey, not the destination.

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.

Epicurus

Opening up

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The only way to get people to share their ideas, their thoughts, their feelings, their problems, their feedback, is for you to shut up.

If you keep talking, they will stop thinking. If you interrupt them, they will give up trying. If you go first – particularly if you are in a position of power – they will just repeat what you said.

To get people to open up you have to willing to give them space and just listen.

Potential

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Every person is a possibility. Every person is many possibilities.

There are different paths you can take, different journeys you can loose yourself into, different decisions to make. The person you are today is probably not the person you will be tomorrow and certainly only one of the many different persons you could have become.

In this wealth of options, you can end up moving from one to the next. Or you can make an intentional choice, stick with it, and always keep in mind a couple of principles: this is what’s better for me and this is what’s better for the people I care about.

Confidence

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You don’t always have an answer, you don’t always know what to do, you don’t always understand what is happening.

The trick is not to try to fake it. Not to try to escape it.

If you can just stay with the feeling for a while, what you need will come.

Confidence is about being at ease with uncertainty, without wanting to get rid of it at all costs.

Distractor

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We always have thoughts.

Thoughts about what’s about to happen. Thoughts about what we would like to happen. Thoughts about what that person we barely know is thinking about that minuscule thing we did yesterday. Thoughts about our kids, our jobs, our relationships, our lives. Thoughts about how we will get out of a nasty situation. Thoughts about how good it was, how bad it will be, how incredible it could be if only.

We always have thoughts and we will always have them. That’s our great distractor. Not our phones, not our kids, not the noisy neighbor. Sure, all those things amplify our capacity to be distracted, but our own thoughts are the great distractor.

Train to be here, in the moment, and reinforce that link with what is happening.