Tag: bias

Left wondering

FabrizioLeave a comment

People do not always have good intentions. For your wellbeing, though, you will be better assuming they do.

If you don’t, you are left wondering.

Was that comment directed to me?

Does that mean they are not happy with my performance?

Are they not replying because of what happened last quarter?

This is a tiring excercise and you have better things to invest your limited resources on.

Assume good intentions, take note of what you feel (confusion, frustration, incompetence, insecurity), and discuss that face to face when possible.

Real problem

FabrizioLeave a comment

The problem is not that people will stop relying on you because you rarely deliver on your promises.

The problem is not that your productivity is going to decrease because you are juggling too many things.

The problem is not that your dear ones will no longer seek out your company and your help because you are never truly there.

When you do not put boundaries, when you equate busyness with status, when you take the shortcut of being on top of it all, the real problem is that you have lost sight of what is important to you.

And if you have lost that, how are you going to achieve it?

Not going to want to change

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you tell somebody they are stupid, they are not going to want to change.

If you make fun of their theories, point to their inconsistencies, denigrate their capacity for solid thinking, they are not going to want to change.

If all you give them is your version, for as much as sense as it makes, they are not going to want to change.

If you show them a world they cannot be part of, they are not going to want to change.

All of this can win a quick laugh and some superficial bond with those who think like you.

It’s not going to make things change, though.

Celebrate failure

FabrizioLeave a comment

Celebrate even when you fail.

Even when you end up fourth, and only the first three get a medal.

Write a story that makes you a winner.

Think of a way to elevate your performance.

Build the stepping stone for your future success.

Adam Ondra, 4th place in Speed Climbing @Tokyo Olympics
(Photo: Jess Talley, Jon Glassberg/Louder Than 11)

Humane

FabrizioLeave a comment

If presented with the possibility, would you share the highest reward with your fiercest competitor? Would you be fine with going down in history together with them? Or would you just try a bit harder, a bit further, to be the only winner?

Too often we see competition as a zero-sum game, a clear winner and loser is a must. But what occurred in the high jump points to something far greater. As we outlined in Peak Performance*, if we can put our ego aside, we actually free ourselves up to perform to our best ability. Our ego often pushes us to perform out of a place of fear, of needing to show the world that I’m good enough. When we can let go of that noise, and realize that competition is about getting the most out of ourselves, we can fulfill our potential.

Brad Stulberg, Competing with instead of always against

* My notes on Peak Performance.