Category: self-help

Protect or build

Fabrizio1 Comment

You can protect your name, your reputation, your prestige. Or you can build it.

Rarely you can do both at the same time.

Protecting is about public relations, networking, promising, giving speeches. It is a reactive game. It is about ensuring that what you do determines who you are, how others see you. It is trying to control the outcome, that you can’t really control.

Building is about doing. It is a proactive game. It is about ensuring that who you are determines what you do, day after day. It is fully mastering the input, that you can always control.

Choose carefully.

Be dumb

Fabrizio2 Comments

When you ask dumb questions, people get often irritated and dismissive. But if you explain that you are asking simply because you do not genuinely know, they are usually happy to help. They can also go great lengths to make it click for you.

There are benefits in taking a dumb approach to things, new things in particular. Understanding why something is done in a certain way can unlock new meaning, and eventually you will become better at expressing yourself.

Next time you are in a meeting, and somebody nonchalantly asks “you know that, right?”, or says “you have certainly heard about this”, or mentions a term you are not familiar with. Instead of nodding and pretending, stop and ask the dumb question: “can you explain that, please?”.

You will not loose status. You will gain the possibility to learn.

Fair

Fabrizio1 Comment

If you look around for fairness, you will find little of it.

Different people see the world in different ways, and fair becomes a fluid concept when you change perspective.

If you look inside for fairness, on the other hand, that is something you can more easily work with. You can train it, build it, apply it, and eventually spread it around. You can make it contagious, and impact those who are close to you.

And it all starts with being fair to yourself. What can you expect of you? What will you hold yourself accountable for? How will you express this to others, how will your actions impact them, and how are you going to find out?

Before asking the world to be fair, ask that of yourself. Imagine if everyone would do that.

On hold

Fabrizio1 Comment

When we hear, read, or consume content, all we get is often about us.

Our fears, expectations, experience, knowledge. What we think about the author, about the medium, about the source. The day we are having, the day we are not having. Likes and dislikes. How confident we are today, what we have been told yesterday, where we are going tomorrow.

In order for us to learn, we need to be able to put all that on hold. To make it about the one delivering the message. To suspend our reaction and just be hearing, reading, consuming content in the moment.

If we do not that, everything will just be a confirmation of what we already know.

Forcing

Fabrizio1 Comment

Nobody is forcing you to stay where you are.

Somebody perhaps asked, or maybe it is exactly where you wanted to be, or it might be that it is fear that’s sticking you to that seat. You might feel the responsibility. You are probably telling yourself there is no other option. You are asking others to validate your desperate attempts, and the faintest nod makes you double down on your fragile certainty.

But the truth is, nobody is forcing you.

So, if it starts feeling wrong. If people around you tell you that it is wrong. If you can’t find peace of mind, despite the desperate attempts and the faint nods. If anywhere you look is despair, rejection, sadness.

Move.

Nobody is forcing you to stay there.