Category: self-help

Left wondering

FabrizioLeave a comment

People do not always have good intentions. For your wellbeing, though, you will be better assuming they do.

If you don’t, you are left wondering.

Was that comment directed to me?

Does that mean they are not happy with my performance?

Are they not replying because of what happened last quarter?

This is a tiring excercise and you have better things to invest your limited resources on.

Assume good intentions, take note of what you feel (confusion, frustration, incompetence, insecurity), and discuss that face to face when possible.

Real problem

FabrizioLeave a comment

The problem is not that people will stop relying on you because you rarely deliver on your promises.

The problem is not that your productivity is going to decrease because you are juggling too many things.

The problem is not that your dear ones will no longer seek out your company and your help because you are never truly there.

When you do not put boundaries, when you equate busyness with status, when you take the shortcut of being on top of it all, the real problem is that you have lost sight of what is important to you.

And if you have lost that, how are you going to achieve it?

Two lines

FabrizioLeave a comment

There are always two lines. The one that got us here, and the one that will take us further ahead.

We tend to think less about the former and more about the latter. The future is always front and center: it’s the place of dreams, of ambitions, of possibilities. But it is also the place where something is always missing, as nobody looks at tomorrow saying: I want it to be just like today.

Being able to appreciate the past, to grasp the progress, to find the foundations, is just as important as having a strong purpose. It actually helps to shape a more solid purpose.

The two lines are not in competition, you don’t have to choose one over the other.

You have to find the right balance.

Celebrate failure

FabrizioLeave a comment

Celebrate even when you fail.

Even when you end up fourth, and only the first three get a medal.

Write a story that makes you a winner.

Think of a way to elevate your performance.

Build the stepping stone for your future success.

Adam Ondra, 4th place in Speed Climbing @Tokyo Olympics
(Photo: Jess Talley, Jon Glassberg/Louder Than 11)

Faulty comparison

FabrizioLeave a comment

How do you feel about those trying to succeed where you have failed?

It is natural to approach this with negativity. Certainly, someone achieving what you could not achieve will mean you are not good enough. It will put a spotlight on your shortfall. It will make others think less of you. It will make way for negative comments. It will preclude future opportunities.

That’s not so. And you are better off if you not measure your worth by comparison with others.

Think instead: how can I help them, so that they will not make the same mistakes I have made?

And: what can I learn from their process, so that I will be more ready next time?