Category: self-help

Absorbed

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When you are absorbed into something for a continued period, you end up hating that thing, wanting to run away from it, falling for the first new object in front of you.

Of course, that does not reflect your true feelings, it’s just a reaction. To being depleted, to not getting where you want to go, to the fact you had to leave behind a lot of other different, possible things.

And of course, that is also the moment you have to stick with it. Take a break, leave it for a while, enjoy something less absorbing, and eventually go back to your obsession to find it renewed.

It’s the only way to become a pro.

Moments of tranquillity

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We all have our moments of tranquillity. It’s when our breath is calm, our senses undisturbed, our mind dreamy, our body unshaken. In such moments, nothing bad can happen to us, and all the stories we tell ourselves are leading exactly where we want to go.

Of course, moments of tranquillity are volatile. Just make sure you notice them as they come and go.

Not ok

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We are all facing an unprecedented situation, unrealistic expectations and an (even more than usual) uncertain future.

Let’s be kind with ourselves and each other, because things are very likely to not be ok for a while.

That’s fine, let’s do our best.

Two buckets

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There is a tension between execution and challenge.

Execution is about getting things done. When you execute, you act on assumptions, hoping that those assumptions are correct. Assumptions come from experience and from socialization (the assumptions of others), and in most cases they help us get by.

Challenge is about changing things. That’s when assumptions get questioned, when you are seeking a different way, something new. Challenge is a more solitary job than execution, and it requires additional energy to buy people into your new perspective.

Balancing the two is necessary. If you only execute, things will not progress, you will not progress. If you only challenge, you will soon deplete all your energy, and eventually be left alone.

What are you going to settle for?

What are you going to fight for?

Be aware of the composition of these two buckets.

How much power

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Expectations have the power to shape our reality.

When we go into a situation with low expectations, chances are we will be positively surprised. And the other way around, of course.

This is even more true, and somehow brutal, when applied to relationships. What we expect of and from people vastly impacts the way we think about them, the way we evaluate them and ultimately the way we behave with them.

Nobody can go without expectations.

But we can label them as such, and accept the fact that they are probably unrealistic, as they take only our perspective into consideration.

When we succeed in this, we open up to a whole new set of experiences we can learn from. We end up growing, gradually mitigating future expectations, and eventually behaving with people the way they wish to be treated (vs the way we wish to be treated).

Expectations are like thoughts. We decide how much power to give them.