Ask instead

Approach every conversation with intention and clarity.

You might be in it because you need something: advice, listening, a hug?

You might be in it because something is needed of you.

One way or the other, making the need explicit increases the chances of actually having a successful conversation.

The alternative is to assume that something has happened when in fact it never did. We had a fantastic chat and we are perfectly aligned now. Except you are not.

Most often, you do not have the time to figure it out. So, ask instead.

Drama

Organizations are perfect sets for dramas.

The problem is that drama is a great way to keep people busy and a poor way to keep people engaged, motivated, creative, purposeful.

While everyone is waiting for the next big reveal, no one will commit to a new idea.

While everyone is betting on which of the two executives will win the next argument, no one is listening to what customers are saying or grasping the emerging trend in the market.

While everyone is invested in wowing their managers, no one will buy into the vision and values that would make employees, shareholders, customers, and community better off.

That feeling of overwhelm, of tiredness, of pointlessness is not due to the job. It’s due to drama.

When you get rid of the spaces where drama flourishes – the hidden information, the decisions behind closed doors, the selected circles, the executive approvals, the vertical silos -, you can repurpose the resources to allow your people and your business to grow.

Mentoring and coaching

Mentoring is when you have a what, and someone who has been there sits with you to help you figure out the how.

Coaching is when someone sits with you to help you figure out the what, the why, the how, and the when.

One way or the other, mentoring and coaching are activities in which it is worth to invest time.

Both as a giver and as a receiver.

The inner critic

If you can’t give credit to yourself, how do you expect to give credit to others?

If you can’t be compassionate with your feelings, give yourself room to think, appreciate what you have achieved and get excited for what comes next. How can you do all that for others?

All your world wants is for you to love yourself.

As you go

We would like there to be a simple answer. And the reality, of course, is that there is none.

We would love the answer to be in the next article we read, the next podcast episode we listen to, the next online class we register for – even though we know we will never have the time, or the motivation, or the incentive to actually take it.

We would love our beloved go-to influencer to share their secret sauce. We would pay hard earned money to get it from their very own voice. We are desperate for it, so much so we convince ourselves that if only we would take the recommendation in the latest LinkedIn post they shared, everything would be fine.

The reality, of course, is that there is no secret sauce.

Every situation, every context, every team, every product, every go-to-market, every business model is different. You can apply some of your own previous expertise, or some of someone else’s previous expertise, but you’ll better do it carefully.

Starting with listening and asking loads of questions, seeing what you can take and what you need to drop, agreeing with others on the next important steps to take together.

That’s probably the only bullet that looks somewhat silvery.

Come up with the plan as you go.