Category: leadership

Above yourself

Fabrizio1 Comment

Being a parent is not so much about raising your kids as it is about rising above yourself.

Kids do not comply, they rarely listen, and when they do it’s mainly to make sure they remember what you said when they can use it against you. And so, trying to make them fit, to make them adjust, to change them is not only futile. It is counterproductive.

The only way you can be a decent parent is by looking within yourself and get a hang of all the things that stand in the way.

If there’s a behaviour that makes you go mad and shout, flag it and work on it. If there are some things you really like to do with your kids, and some things you really don’t like to do with them, notice that soon, and be anyway prepared to yield more often than not. If there are some days in which you’d just like to be left alone, first forget about it, then make sure you can be aware of that, so that you will express it with words rather than with shitty reactions. If there are occasions where you screwed up, say so, and also say you are sorry.

You are the only one who can change this.

P.S.: this is certainly valid also when you are not in a parenting situation.

A strategic choice

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Why do people rarely talk frankly to each other when tension arises?

Time inflates difficult situations where two or more people feel resentment towards each other, yet it seems people float through such circumstances without taking action. They talk to other colleagues, families, friends. They feed their anxiety and frustration by crafting a defensive narrative. And they continue escaping a direct confrontation.

That’s how our mind is wired. Clearing the air is difficult, it takes effort and commitment. In the moment, when the time comes to choose between going ahead and speaking to the other person or ignoring the problem and carrying on with the day, the brain will always, instinctively, go for the latter. Because that’s what keeps us safe.

Of course, it is a short-term safety. And in most cases it’s not that we are really in danger of serious consequences should we decide to, once and for all, have that chat.

Difficult conversations are a strategic choice. Have them often, with intention.

Two sons

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We spend more time being worried about unlikely events than we spend preparing for concrete possibilities. And we spend more time being busy with things that matter little than we spend actually doing work that is important.

Worry and busy are two brothers. And they are both sons of resistance.

Be aware they are not getting any closer to achieving your goals.

Google

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Google’s mission used to be “to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful”.

It still is.

Yet, that’s no longer what Google does.

Google is now in the business of deciding what information is and what it is not, it shapes the way people consume the internet and its content, with a clear bias towards information that is either owned by Google or that companies pay Google to promote.

So much for accessibility and usefulness.

Of course, companies change as they grow. But should we trust Google to offer us the type of information we need, at the right time? Probably not.

That’s not what they do anymore.

Good eggs

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Business decisions can be good marketing too. A way to differentiate from your competitors, express your values and tell everybody what you stand for.

Good Eggs got this right. And for once, a page stating corporate values does not sound like shallow promises.

The original article by KQED is here. The full chart here.