If you are victim of an unfair practice.

You can point the finger, call the perpetrator names, shut them off and strengthen the relationships with those like you, tell yourself and others a story of unfairness and one-sidedness, and demand a change.

Or you can extend your hand, empathize with the motives, see if perhaps in similar circumstances you might have fallen in the same trap, start a conversation around identities and opportunities, prove day after day that the practice is not only unfair, also counterproductive, and be an agent of change.

I have been on both ends of the spectrum, I have changed my mind along the way, and I can still see that there is a solid argument one way and the other.

I can also see that it’s a choice you get to do.