Why is this happening to me?
Why are they doing this to me?
Why is this situation so unfair (to me)?

This is where most people start from. And so the first step is the step of curiosity, taking yourself out of the equation and becoming genuinely interested in what is going on. Both inside and outside of you.

I wonder why this is happening.
There might be some reasons why they are doing this.
What is determining the situation?

The second step is the step of acceptance. We now know what is going on that makes an action, an event, a word, a scenario so unbearable for us, and we realise that all the fuss is determined by a story we are telling ourselves about the world. We are now free to let go of it and continue our important work.

This is happening.
They are doing this.
Here is the situation.