We care a whole lot more about what is done to us than what we do to others. It’s not that we are mean and inconsiderate, it’s just the way we are. We feel our pain, our loss, our despair, our loneliness. We see others’ success, joy, delight, harmony.

When others come to us with their pain, the best we often manage to do is saying “I know how that feels”. When they come with our triumphs, we say “it’s not how it looks”.

The shift is: we all feel pain, loss, despair, loneliness, as we all achieve success, joy, delight and harmony. We don’t mean bad to others, others do not mean bad to us. We can be open.