Tag: values

The lonely way

FabrizioLeave a comment

People will always try to get things their own way. It’s the shortest path to comfort.

Nobody likes to argue.

Nobody likes to compromise.

Nobody likes to change their mind or their ways.

Nobody likes a difficult conversation.

Nobody likes new.

People will always try to get things their own way, and you will try to get things your own way too.

But there’s no progress with holding onto your way when people around you, repeatedly, say they want something else.

You can still try to get things your way.

And you can go alone.

Discomfort

FabrizioLeave a comment

You have an idea.

And that idea initiates some feelings. Excitement, perhaps. Or anticipation. Or frustration. Or anger. Or fear.

And to mitigate that, you take an action, right there, in the moment.

You send a message.

You ask a question.

You check the status.

You share the idea.

You push for delivery.

You do it yourself.

The point here is that the shorter the time between the idea and the action, the more the action is not about the idea, but about the feeling and your desire to push it away. To clarify, to push it onto somebody else. To give away the ownership of that thing that makes you uncomfortable.

On the other hand, of course, the longer the time between the idea and the action, the more the action is exactly about the idea. The feeling has dissipated by then, and you have probably learned something about yourself, about the feeling, about the idea, and about how to make the action right on point.

Learn to live with your discomfort.

The reason

FabrizioLeave a comment

Everything happens for a reason.

But contrary to what most of us think, we have more control on the “reason” than we like to admit. The reason is not something external, something that others or circumstances impose on us, something that we are forced to accept.

The reason is a narrative.

And we control the narrative.

Shifting perspective

FabrizioLeave a comment

The worst mistake a manager can make is taking decisions as if everyone would be like them, think like them, adhere to their same set of values and principles, care as much as them, earn as much as them.

Shifting perspective and accepting that others have different views seems to be one of the biggest challenges when you are in a position of power.

When things end

FabrizioLeave a comment

When something important ends, there are two ways to react.

One is to look within. Figure out why it ended, try and build resilience, be in touch with your own feelings and pain, imagine a way forward.

One is to look outside. Look for distractions, focus on someone or something to blame, numb feelings and pain with temporary rewards, move frantically in the moment.

Most often, the two coexist. But you can’t really move forward until you have spent a good deal of time in the first state.