Tag: team work

Stepping stone

FabrizioLeave a comment

I am sorry does not heal the wound.

It does not solve the problem, it does not undo what was done, it does not wipe out an unpleasant memory.

I am sorry is not a wand to wave at distressing situations. It does not draw a plan for the future and it does not promise it will not happen again. It does not go any farther than you want it to go. It often does not fill the gap. Very rarely it changes the narrative. And it never is the end to a conversation.

I am sorry does not do any of the above.

Yet without I am sorry none of the above can ever happen.

I am sorry is the essential stepping stone to what comes next in any kind of relationship.

What actually is next depends on you.

The greatest gift

Fabrizio1 Comment

If there is only one thing you are going to dedicate more time to in the future, make it be listening.

Do not rush to tell your piece, learn to sit still with your assumptions and conclusions, give others the space to come up with their own version, accept that silence is not you giving power away.

Listen. Truly listen. To understand. To help the other understand.

It is the greatest gift of all.

All the time

Fabrizio1 Comment

We will act fairly.

Once this bad period is over.

As soon as we have launched this very important new service.

When the new manager will be up to speed.

If only we would win this next bet.

The fact is, integrity does not allow conditions. You are either fair, or you are not. And actually, once you start cheating, cutting corners, taking shortcuts, there is good evidence that you are onto a slippery slope that will take you deeper down the hole. Raising up from there is not as easy as one would think.

Find your principles, set your boundaries, draft your rules. And be genuinely committed to them.

All the time.

The lesson I learned from this is that it’s easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time than it is to hold to them 98% of the time. If you give in to “just this once,” based on a marginal cost analysis, as some of my former classmates have done, you’ll regret where you end up. You’ve got to define for yourself what you stand for and draw the line in a safe place.

Clayton Christenses, How will you measure your life?

P.S.: How important this is for organizations! This is why organizational culture fails so often. As culture is often built in meetings and not anchored to reality, a company can find hundreds of ways and reasons to deviate from it. When that happens, there is no sanction. And the culture drifts …

Existential threat

Fabrizio1 Comment

When failure knocks at your door, you have to greet it, invite it in, make it feel comfortable, and eventually ask it to move in. Failure needs to be absorbed, somehow, in order for the learnings to become a part of you, to make you better, to prevent it from happening again.

If you deny failure, on the other hand, it will not simply go away. Soon enough it will spread, and your problem will become a problem for the neighbors, for the neighborhood, for the culture, for the village. It will transform into an existential threat. It will just be everywhere, always noticeable, never hidden, a memento of your own incapacity to accept.

Failure is not the end of the world. Pretending not to see it might just be it.

Just stick with it

Fabrizio2 Comments

At the end of the day, all you can control is what you do. And all you can do is to behave in such a way that aligns with your core values, with what you want to achieve, with everything that matters.

Of course, this is something you have to figure out. The sooner, the better. It requires time, trial and error, failure, commitment. But once you are there, once you know what will make you sleep well in the night, just stick with it. Forget about the rest, forget about the others, and most importantly forget about the outcome.

Just stick with it.