You owe it to others to spend time with yourself.
You owe it to those you love and to those you engage with. It’s not a selfish act. It helps you to feel confident and comfortable with whoever you are, which is something you ask others to do all the time. In relationships, at work, in casual conversations and encounters.
It starts with you.
People will always try to get things their own way. It’s the shortest path to comfort.
Nobody likes to argue.
Nobody likes to compromise.
Nobody likes to change their mind or their ways.
Nobody likes a difficult conversation.
Nobody likes new.
People will always try to get things their own way, and you will try to get things your own way too.
But there’s no progress with holding onto your way when people around you, repeatedly, say they want something else.
You can still try to get things your way.
And you can go alone.
You have an idea.
And that idea initiates some feelings. Excitement, perhaps. Or anticipation. Or frustration. Or anger. Or fear.
And to mitigate that, you take an action, right there, in the moment.
You send a message.
You ask a question.
You check the status.
You share the idea.
You push for delivery.
You do it yourself.
The point here is that the shorter the time between the idea and the action, the more the action is not about the idea, but about the feeling and your desire to push it away. To clarify, to push it onto somebody else. To give away the ownership of that thing that makes you uncomfortable.
On the other hand, of course, the longer the time between the idea and the action, the more the action is exactly about the idea. The feeling has dissipated by then, and you have probably learned something about yourself, about the feeling, about the idea, and about how to make the action right on point.
Learn to live with your discomfort.
The worst mistake a manager can make is taking decisions as if everyone would be like them, think like them, adhere to their same set of values and principles, care as much as them, earn as much as them.
Shifting perspective and accepting that others have different views seems to be one of the biggest challenges when you are in a position of power.
When you are under pressure, mistakes happen.
Luckily, not all mistakes will cost you $100 billion. And most importantly, you are the one deciding what pressure to bow to. Not everything is worth pursuing, not all chances are worth taking, not all competitors are worth following.
Sometimes the wise response is to slow down and let go. It’s always a viable option.
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