What do you do when you miss an appointment, forget about something, fail to do what you promised you would?
You can hide, delay the difficult conversation until it gets too late to actually have it, never talk about that again, and miss the opportunity to own your lapse and grow.
Or you can say “I am sorry”.
Choose with intention.
Some companies decide to keep things loose. They have little hierarchy, initiatives can come from a variety of places as a response to a variety of inputs (customers, markets, intuition, experience, data, trials, mistakes, etc.), and the flexibility of the company makes it so it can adapt to changes and decisions fairly quickly without a lot of guidance.
Other companies decide to put structure around things. They build a clear hierarchy, initiatives often come from the top as a response to a limited amount of inputs (often gut feeling and previous experience), and the rigor of the company makes it so it will adapt to changes as quick as an heavy amount of guidance is deployed through its rank.
There is no right or wrong, you just have to figure out what works best for you and for the people that work with you and around you.
There is also a third kind of company. It is the company that puts structure while still wanting to keeping it loose. The company where decisions come from the top with the expectation that people will accept them just because. The company that pays lip service to the importance of its people while at the same time keeping them limited to tasks and urgencies. The company that struggles more than the others to adapt and change, just because nobody has a clear idea of what the hell is going on.
There are more company of the third kind than there are of the first and second combined.
You do not want your company to be of the third kind.
Writing things down, making a public commitment, pinning an item on the calendar.
To some these actions mean being one step farther to actually doing.
It is a form of resistance. It does not matter if we are in charge or if someone else is in charge. The very same moment we are saying “I am going to do it”, an almost unconscious reaction is triggered that goes the opposite way: “I am not going to do it”.
The only cure is to deeply understand that no one cares.
Your boss might be disappointed, they will still be your boss. Your company might lose some money, they will most likely survive. Your friends are going to stop relying on you, and go find other friends. Your project will probably be delayed, and your audience is going to seek something else to give attention to.
The only one person who has deeply to lose from this behavior is you.
Always make an effort to start with what you agree on.
We are wired to focus on the negative feedback, on the opposite opinions, on the rejections, on the new ideas. And so, we need intention to spot agreement.
Next time you get a difficult email, a new plan, a lengthy piece of feedback, a written comment, the notes from a difficult conversation, the minutes of a heated meeting. Print it out, take two markers of different color, highlight what you agree on with one and what you disagree on with the other.
Be honest and impartial. You will have set yourself on a learning path.
It is great to be excited about something, to be enthusiastic, to be waiting for it, to prepare and make sure everyone gets the best out of the experience.
It is way less great when the attitude gets past excitement and shifts to eagerness. Eager as in sour, bitter, rough, forceful, pungent. It is when you do not leave others space. When you cut others short to make a point. When saying what you think to know is more important than letting others tell of their experience. When you make decisions without consulting, when you change the work without informing, when you demand agreement without explaining, when you take the spotlight without elevating.
Enthusiasm is contagious. But if you are eager instead, you will go alone.
You've got this 