Tag: start

Kindness

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Kindness starts from understanding that we are not alone.

That despite our uniqueness, the pain we feel, the challenges we face, the preoccupations that keep our mind busy are common.

That what we are going through is the reflection of what our neighbour has lived for the past six months.

That the person who does not reply to our message is not having a better day.

That it is difficult for our partner to figure us out, just as it is difficult for us to figure them out.

Kindness is an act directed at ourselves first.

Kindness is for every day of the year.

Merry Christmas!

P.S.: I have not read many books this year, but one I enjoyed is Storynomics, by Robert McKee and Thomas Gerace. I am giving away 5 Kindle copies of the book, to the first 5 people who leave a comment to this post and share one thing they got from my blog.

You stay

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When you are in a bad mood, your productivity goes down. The quality of your work is not as good as usual, even getting started feels painful. You are cranky, you put negative narratives first, you fail to appreciate what good there is.

Being in a bad mood also poisons everything around you. And most importantly, it makes people in your life be in a bad mood to.

There is no remedy to being in a bad mood. It just happens.

The only sensible thing to do is put all the residual resources into breaking the direct link between the mood and yourself. Indeed, often when you are in a bad mood, you look at yourself as a bad person too. That’s dangerous.

Moods come and go. You stay, often improved. If you can appreciate this difference more, nothing will stop you.

To meet an emotion is first to acknowledge it and then to feel it enough to get the message it carries. The feeling carries the message but it isn’t the message, and we won’t get the message without feeling at least some of the emotion. The message, of course, is very likely to be a form of emerging self-knowledge.

Dan Oestreich, How To Meet A Strong Emotion

After failure

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As we are nearing the start of a new year, and many of us will sit down and reflect on what new habits can be added to their lives, remember just one thing: what you do after you fail will determine your success.

Establishing a new habit takes time and effort, at some point you will most likely fail. For one day, for two days, for ten days.

Whether or not you can appreciate the work you have put in before the failure, whether or not you can remind yourself you are in this for the long term, whether or not you can pick the habit up again. That is going to be the measure of your success.

Always see the 61.

Your phone

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If you keep your phone on your desk while working, you get distracted.

If you turn it down, set it to silent or vibrate, you still get distracted.

If you put it somewhere else in the same room, you still get distracted.

If you leave it in your bag or in your coat, you still get distracted.

If someone separates you from your phone, you still get distracted.

And this means that you have increasing difficulties both when trying to access knowledge that you already have and when facing new problems that require new information (see Ward et al., 2017).

The most reliable way to avoid this is to train in being intentionally distant from your phone. It might sound as a difficult thing to do, and still nurturing a habit of doing without distraction can give a concrete and tremendous competitive advantage. Professionally, personally, and even sentimentally.

Today is a great day to start.

About your story

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Why are you doing it?

Is it to get back at someone?

Is it a form of revenge?

Are you in it out of boredom?

Or perhaps because you feel you have no other chance.

Is it because someone is pushing you?

Or maybe because of someone else’s dream (a younger you perhaps).

If one of the above is the case, chances are that it will not work. Whatever you are doing, whatever you are up to these days, whatever you are planning for tomorrow will most likely fail if why you are doing it is because of others. In any shape or form.

Build a story from your experience, your practices, what you delivered, your purpose instead. And make it about it.

It will be your story. And it will make all the difference.