Tag: start

Companions

FabrizioLeave a comment

After one year (and counting) dealing with social distancing, isolation, uncertainty, fear of sickness and death, confinment, lack of freedom, impossibility to meet family and friends, video-conferencing, constant worrying.

We are all exhausted.

So if you are too, that is fine.

If you struggle to find motivation, if you do not want to get started, if you would rather call in sick, if you start thinking it’s not worth it.

You are not alone.

Reach out to somebody today. Tell them about how you feel. Listen as they tell you how they feel. And find a companion.

We all need that now.

Dull and easy

Fabrizio1 Comment

The stigma around topics such as failure, ignorance, inexperience makes us hide the very same seed that would allow us to grow. We do not ask the question, we do not show the weakness, we do not seek guidance. Eventually we end up being the same, if not diminished.

We are more silent when we should be more vocal.

And on the other hand, we are met with silence when we should be cheered loudly.

How often do you share just to meet an embarrassed withdraw? How often do you ask just to meet an awkward silence? How often do you open up just to meet shameful rejection?

Everything is dull and easy on the surface.

It is when you go deep, and allow the others to go deep, that things start getting interesting.

The best self-promotion tool

Fabrizio1 Comment

If you are starting in a new role, make it your first priority to talk to people who work close to you.

Your direct reports, their reports, your peers, those you will collaborate with in adjacent teams, your manager, their manager.

There is no rule for where you should stop, just do it with common sense.

And while the instict would probably push you to use the conversations to promote yourself, your background, your agenda, make it so instead that you will mainly listen. Understand who you are talking to, what motivates them, how they get measured, what success means to them.

If you do that effectively, you can’t fail. You will deliver exactly what they need, and they will be the ones promoting you and your agenda when that is needed.

Listening is the best self-promotion tool.

Looking the best

FabrizioLeave a comment

The energy we invest in looking good is in a negative relationship with our ability to actually be good.

Looking the best. Being the best.

The earlier you realize which one matters, the earlier you will be gifted with time and resources to go do what you care about.

Most of the times

Fabrizio3 Comments

Bad is the place of commiseration. Good is the place of recognition.

But most of the times, we are not good parents or bad parents. We are not good colleagues or bad colleagues. We are not good persons or bad persons. We are not good performers or bad performers. We are not good partners or bad partners. We are not good bosses or bad bosses.

Most of the times, we are average.

And that is what we hate the most. The fact that, most of the times, we are not worthy neither of commiseration nor of recognition. The idea that we are mostly like most of our peers. That we spend the vast majority of our lives in the middle.

The vast middle is the place of renunciation.

Not renunciation as in giving up. But renunciation as in recognizing that we already are exactly where we need to be. Renunciation as in renuncing the unsatisfactory experience.

This is the most difficult step.

Don’t recall. Let go of what has passed.
Don’t imagine. Let go of what may come.
Don’t think. Let go of what is happening now.
Don’t examine. Don’t try to figure anything out.
Don’t control. Don’t try to make anything happen.

Tilopa’s six words of advice