There are a few things that are always good for your mind and body.
Exercising.
Meditating.
Eating healthy,
Cooking your own food.
Sleeping.
Taking regular breaks throughout the day.
Keeping a journal.
Yet, we always find excuses not to get to them. Time is important, even more important is what we do with it.
Some flames burn fast. They are powerful, fiery, exciting. And when they are gone, what’s left is pitch black.
Some flames burn slow. They are steady, warm, comforting. And when they are gone, what’s left is a halo.
You’ll experience both in your life. And it’s important to know what to expect in return.
One way to react to pain is to shut out what caused the pain.
If someone cheated you, why trust people again?
If a job has demotivated you, why commit to another job again?
If friends and family have abandoned you, why seek for human connection again?
The examples are somewhat trivial, but it is a pretty common and natural way to react to pain. We take our own experience, or our own repeated experiences, and we extend that to the full category – people, work, friends, family, love, connection, health – to protect ourselves from further pain.
The problem though is that when we do that we are never better off. We avoid pursuing something that matters to us in the name of safety and comfort. But pain is inevitable. It is part of us, it is part of living.
And so, another way to react to pain is to continue in your search. Give a chance to other people, other jobs, other friends, other family members, other partners, other peers, other solutions. And continue doing that until you have built enough resilience and strength that the search becomes more important than the outcome.
We want things to get better, but they very rarely do.
We want relationships to improve, but they very rarely do.
We want somebody to acknowledge our talent, but they very rarely do.
We want situations to change, but they very rarely do.
We want people to seek us out and shine in our presence, but they very rarely do.
They very rarely do. And they will absolutely never do if we expect change to happen on its own.
To ensure that intention is behind what you do every day, every moment, you need to be able to sit with what makes you feel sad, scared, uncomfortable. You need to be able to accept that and avoid making decisions that will make those feelings go away temporarily. You need to embrace that inevitable part of life so that you can also welcome the exact opposite, equally inevitable, at the appropriate moment.
It sounds so counterintuitive that almost nobody does it.
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