Tag: speaking

Passion and distraction

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There is a lot of difference between spending time and energy and resources on something you are passionate about, and spending the exact same amount of time and energy and resources on something you don’t care about.

In the first case, no matter how much you give, you will always find a bit more. You will feel recharged even after a full day of intense activity. In fact, the other stuff and the people in your life will most likely benefit from your positive attitude and adrenaline. Just because you are committed to something you love.

In the second case, the opposite is true. Even ten minutes of the activity will drain you. You will mostly complain, find issues with everything and everyone, and that attitude will spill to everything else, and everyone else, in your life.

So, the trick is this.

Do something for long enough to get committed and passionate about it, and reduce the distractions that make you feel miserable.

Easy. Not simple.

You assume

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When you start thinking that someone is out to get you, that the decisions they are making are personal and against you, you are making a lot of self-centred assumptions in a split second.

You assume that they know of you.

You assume that they know what is good and bad for you.

You assume that they think of you when making their own decisions.

You assume that they understand the depths of your value and skills.

You assume that they prioritise your circumstances over theirs.

You assume that they care enough to actually bother.

You assume that they are the villain to your own personal script.

Of course, some of these assumptions might be on target. But even just making them, even though you do not know you are making them, consumes a lot of your energy and resources.

Assume instead that they are doing their best for themselves and for the interests they represent.

It almost never is personal. And even when it is, you are far better off assuming it is not.

A second chance

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Rejection calls for reflection.

Was it the right opportunity, the right time, the right audience? What could be improved in the way my ideas, my plan, my experience is introduced? What will I do next to make sure next time I can progress towards the goal?

What rejection does not need is forcefulness – I will do it my way – and surrender – I will give up.

Rejection is a second chance.

Sequence

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Try not to have two things requiring your immediate attention at the same time.

Always choose one. Keep it front and centre as you dedicate your full energy to it. Push the other (or the others) to the background, silencing its pressing requests. Once you have completed a meaningful part of what you have selected first, only then move your full attention to what is next. Repeat.

Sometimes you are so busy that things keep taking turns in your field of attention. You complete a task, move on to a second item, go back to the first to continue to the next milestone, begin with a third to take it to completion, switch to the second to progress it some more, and so on. If feels like you are dancing.

That’s the incredible feeling of working in sequence.

Superpower

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Can you put boundaries around what happens in a given day? Can you keep it enclosed in the specific situation, the momentary emotion, the sudden thought?

Professional setbacks don’t have to spill into your personal life. A rejection or even a big failure do not have to determine your next actions or take away from your motivation. Someone being rude does not mean that every person you will meet from there onwards will be deserving a cold stare.

What happens is in the moment. The story we build around it can stay with us for a long time.

What happens is immutable. The story we build around it can be shaped however we prefer.

It’s a superpower to reclaim.