Celebrate even when you fail.
Even when you end up fourth, and only the first three get a medal.
Write a story that makes you a winner.
Think of a way to elevate your performance.
Build the stepping stone for your future success.
How do you feel about those trying to succeed where you have failed?
It is natural to approach this with negativity. Certainly, someone achieving what you could not achieve will mean you are not good enough. It will put a spotlight on your shortfall. It will make others think less of you. It will make way for negative comments. It will preclude future opportunities.
That’s not so. And you are better off if you not measure your worth by comparison with others.
Think instead: how can I help them, so that they will not make the same mistakes I have made?
And: what can I learn from their process, so that I will be more ready next time?
Sometimes a situation just turns out to have the worst possible outcome, and you could have told from the beginning.
You had spotted the discomfort in approaching it, the signals, the opposition of others. You had noticed that nothing was going the way it was supposed to. You had called it difficult, wrong, impossible. You had said many times you were giving it your best, and despite that, you could not see any improvement. You had wanted to quit and give up, in different occasions, and yet stayed in it until the very, inevitable, tragic ending.
This is self-sabotaging.
You do not have to manage change to make it happen.
You can still make a decision and expect everyone to act accordingly.
You can drift through the days and wait for something to come your way.
You can stand on the side and take credit for whatever success will come.
You do not have to manage change, but when you manage change you make it a shared experience. A shared decision, a shared opportunity, a shared outcome. It is only by managing change that you can make a long-term impact.
If presented with the possibility, would you share the highest reward with your fiercest competitor? Would you be fine with going down in history together with them? Or would you just try a bit harder, a bit further, to be the only winner?
Too often we see competition as a zero-sum game, a clear winner and loser is a must. But what occurred in the high jump points to something far greater. As we outlined in Peak Performance*, if we can put our ego aside, we actually free ourselves up to perform to our best ability. Our ego often pushes us to perform out of a place of fear, of needing to show the world that I’m good enough. When we can let go of that noise, and realize that competition is about getting the most out of ourselves, we can fulfill our potential.
Brad Stulberg, Competing with instead of always against
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