It’s not bad to be told that you’ve done a poor job, that you have played poorly in the last match, that your performance is below the expectations.
It does not have to become a personal affront or a way for you (and others) to determine the quality of your future.
Of course, it hurts. Because you have probably given it your all.
But the direction of the motion that comes out of negative feedback is something you can control.
Sometimes people fail to succeed because they can’t accept to suck.
If you want to master something, you have to get accustomed to the idea that you are going to suck. You are going to suck at the thing you want to master – for a long time, before you actually master it -, and you are going to suck at most of the other things that you are not interested in mastering. That’s why it’s easier to move from one activity to the next, averaging them all.
Success requires a close familiarity with the idea that you suck.
There are two powerful instincts we need to fight when things don’t go as we’d like.
The instinct to hide, to go ahead as if nothing happened.
And the instinct to find an immediate, easy, known answer.
In both cases, we take a shortcut, as we are basically hoping that things will magically go back to normal. It might even be the case, but it is rare.
If we can fight those forces for long enough, a more rational approach might kick in. It’s when we start looking at the situation, we collect facts and data, we formulate hypothesis, we make changes, and we reassess.
Of course, it’s more complex, and it might even get us face-to-face with some hard truths we’d prefer to escape.
And it’s still the most reliable way to move on and progress.
There is nothing more pointless than to act to please others.
To do things just because you hope that others will be happy with them. To show off your work just because you hope that others will appreciate it, like it, follow it. To share words of advice just because you hope that others will follow them and be happy and recognise your contribution.
Find the motivation within, be kind and fair, and accept that others will run with their lives to the best of their own circumstances.
That’s the best you can hope for.
The world is full with people that define success in a single way.
Nothing bad with that, but the reminder is that success has different shapes, it comes at different times, and it is your responsibility (not theirs) to define how success looks like for you.
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