Tag: self-improvement

Do better

FabrizioLeave a comment

Asking others to do better, to be better is missing perspective.

A more productive approach would be enquiring about what you can do to enable them to do better, to be better. And follow up with what is needed.

An even more productive approach would be to figure out how you can do better, be better. And by simply doing that, make those around you shine brighter, achieve more, reach higher.

Finally, we could take it on our own to change the environment and the rules of the game so that what others are doing or the way they are would already be better.

When we ask others to do better, to be better we sort of take our own responsibility out of the picture. Yet, it feels to me there’s quite a lot we can do to achieve exactly the better we want others to achieve.

What happened next …

FabrizioLeave a comment

.. is not always newsworthy.

After you have landed that job you so much wanted, often the most exciting part is showing up every day to do your best.

When you make a resolution to change an unhealthy habit, most of the time peak adrenaline is in the moment you make up your mind, and it’s followed by days, weeks, months of sticking to it.

Decorating your new apartment might give you a kick, and then you’ll have to navigate the day after day of your life inside it, uneventful for the most part.

It’s not always easy to be at ease in the average routine, yet that’s what most of our lives are made of. If you want to be an agent of change, that’s a lesson better learned fast.

Changing the game

FabrizioLeave a comment

What game are you playing?

If you feel like you’ve been losing for too long now, most likely it is the wrong game you are playing. There is a chance for you to reconsider all that is involved: the rules, the playing field, the competitors, even what winning eventually means. But you can do that only if you start by understanding who you are, what makes you stand out and what you want.

Different is better than better. If you put yourself in the small pond, how you think of yourself goes up. Most of us though live in a huge pond, and the feeling we get is we will never be good enough. Give yourself a game that you can win!

Neil Pasricha

Open your story to imperfection

FabrizioLeave a comment

What happens when you fail the story you have so patiently and consistently crafted?

We all have ups and downs, yet some downs have the power to make us question the image of ourselves we have built. Perhaps we think of us as calm and patient, then we act irrationally and hastily. Perhaps we think of us as bold and innovative, then suddenly we are cautious and scared. Perhaps we think of us as caring and supporting, then we catch ourselves in a bitter and malicious mindset.

The beauty of stories, though, is that they are open enough to accept and welcome new behaviours without bending.

We still are calm and patient, but something unusual happened that made us act in an irrational and hasty way.

We still are bold and innovative, but with that new piece of information we felt it was worth it to be cautious and even scared.

We still are caring and supporting, but that person hurt us deeply and now we are in a bitter and malicious mindset.

If we accept this, it’s going to be easy to get back on track.

If we don’t, the thing we were not expecting will become what we expect of us next.

Ourselves first

FabrizioLeave a comment

Lifting others, empowering them, making them feel listened and appreciated, ensuring they can do their best with their skills and motivating them enough to go find learnings in their failures.

All of this is possible only if we allow it to happen to ourselves first.

“I am shit and you are great” is a narrative that does not serve any of the above purposes.