A break is not the end.
It’s not a tragedy.
It’s not a bad thing.
It’s not something impossible to fix.
It’s not something to feel guilty about.
It’s not something to make amend for.
A break is just a break. And sometimes, it’s a possible way forward.
When something seems to big to tackle, it’s ok to start with just a small part of it.
You don’t have to start with being a content creator, you can start with one post.
You don’t have to get straight into that difficult conversation, you can start by meeting on a different topic.
You don’t have to share the bad news with your dear ones, you can start by spending time with them.
Many hide instead, but there is immense value in starting with a very small step.
You have an idea.
And that idea initiates some feelings. Excitement, perhaps. Or anticipation. Or frustration. Or anger. Or fear.
And to mitigate that, you take an action, right there, in the moment.
You send a message.
You ask a question.
You check the status.
You share the idea.
You push for delivery.
You do it yourself.
The point here is that the shorter the time between the idea and the action, the more the action is not about the idea, but about the feeling and your desire to push it away. To clarify, to push it onto somebody else. To give away the ownership of that thing that makes you uncomfortable.
On the other hand, of course, the longer the time between the idea and the action, the more the action is exactly about the idea. The feeling has dissipated by then, and you have probably learned something about yourself, about the feeling, about the idea, and about how to make the action right on point.
Learn to live with your discomfort.
Everything happens for a reason.
But contrary to what most of us think, we have more control on the “reason” than we like to admit. The reason is not something external, something that others or circumstances impose on us, something that we are forced to accept.
The reason is a narrative.
And we control the narrative.
When something important ends, there are two ways to react.
One is to look within. Figure out why it ended, try and build resilience, be in touch with your own feelings and pain, imagine a way forward.
One is to look outside. Look for distractions, focus on someone or something to blame, numb feelings and pain with temporary rewards, move frantically in the moment.
Most often, the two coexist. But you can’t really move forward until you have spent a good deal of time in the first state.
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