Tag: resolutions

Blame

FabrizioLeave a comment

What good is it to blame it on others? People who might or might not be still around. People who’ve passed by, who stopped for a while, who’ve been a constant, whom we’ll never talk ever again.

And what good is it to blame it on the circumstances? What has happened, what might have been, what will be tomorrow. The weather, the economics, the politics, and the structural difficulties.

At the end of the day, we are the greatest enemy to our own achievements.

We are in control, just not of the things we tend to blame.

We can decide to wake up and do the work.

We can extend an hand and help a friend.

We can be kind, inspiring, and motivating.

We can say thank you and I am sorry.

We can still talk when nobody listens.

Or we can shut up when we decide it’s enough.

One way or the other, we can.

And we should.

Fictitious

FabrizioLeave a comment

Anchor your thoughts, feelings, opinions to facts. For as much as it is possible to do so.

If you think that your team is on the right track, anchor that thought to some solid evidence.

If you feel that things could be better, anchor that feeling to some solid evidence.

If you believe that version A is better than version B, anchor that feeling to some solid evidence.

Numbers, money, events, external input. Go there to find confirmation, and go there often and repeatedly.

If you don’t, you live and act in a fictitious world.

Get satisfaction

FabrizioLeave a comment

When we are close to something, it’s difficult to notice progress.

Just as you can’t see your kids grow day after day, it’s difficult to see your career develop, your relationship evolve, your project build the right momentum, when you are so involved.

Take a broader look, take an outside look if at all possible. Consider a longer time frame, list down all the achievements, own your own narrative, master the capacity to frame what you see today in a wider picture.

That’s the key to satisfaction.

Definition

FabrizioLeave a comment

The longer you can be without defining a situation, a person, a thought, an outcome, the more you can enjoy the moment.

When you define you draw boundaries. You set differences between what is good and what is bad. You start aiming for something different while at the same time clinging to the desire that the definition will always be valid. You build, for yourself and others, a world that is much smaller than its potential.

Defining is natural, it’s an attempt to take control of the unknown.

And the longer you can be without it, the more chances you will have.

Because you care

FabrizioLeave a comment

Sometimes you listen because you want to know. Sometimes you listen because you care.

It might seem like a minor distinction, but the questions, the attitude, the subjects are very different whether it’s one form of listening or the other.

When you listen because you want to know, your questions are direct and closed. You look for easy answers, answers you can process and understand instantly. It’s usually about trivial topics, and the act of listening is in fact a way to reassure yourself that everything is as it should be.

When you listen because you care, your questions are wide and open. You are not even looking for answers. If they come, they will probably impact the person giving them much more than they impact you. It’s usually about deep change, and the act of listening is a way to unlock new potential.