Tag: resistance

Give yourself a reason

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What is the reason you give yourself to continue doing what you’re doing?

If it’s to make things better, to support, to spread an important message, to grow and make others grow, to change toxic habits, to repair something that is worth it. That is fantastic, and you are lucky.

If it’s to feed a habit, to continue a routine, to leverage information that no one else has, to make yourself indispensable, to add layers of complexity and titles to your business card, to keep your mind busy so that you do not have to face bigger, more painful questions, to share your opinion on things you don’t know even when not asked.

Then it is time to find new reasons.

What you need

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You don’t need another article that tells you how to get what you want to get, no other “how-to” or “five steps” guides to determine what you are going to do today.

All you need is a starting point and a destination.

In between is the journey.

Let it be your own story.

Simple and difficult

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The first step to achieve most things is figuring out what you want to do.

It is true for life, for career, for relationships. It is true for values and purpose too. It is true when deciding what to study, where to go on holidays, whether or not you should move abroad.

I know it might seem trivial, but many times what we end up doing has little relationship with what we want to do. And so, it’s good to dedicate time and energy to figuring out the first step.

Ask difficult questions.

What do I care about?

What type of person do I want to be?

What do I see when I look ten years from now?

What does success look like for me?

Once this is clear, then the second step is to go all-in.

This is where the challenge starts.

The moment you have made up your mind is the moment you start to be distracted and seduced by a million other possibilities. And the longer your resolution stands, the easier it will be to get demotivated and disappointed, as the path unfolding is never immediately, exactly the one you had imagined.

There is no shortcut though. You can’t achieve much by investing 10%, 50%, 99% of the effort. You can’t change course at the first opportunity, or falter in front of the umpteenth challenge. You can decide to go somewhere else, sure, but you have to go back to step one for that to be effective. And it won’t be any easier.

How simple is this to understand. How difficult to practice.

Start walking

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If you are like most people, and you are not born with a well-defined passion or a recognized talent, the best thing to do is to start walking.

You might find later you are on the right track, or perhaps you will realize that some adjustments are needed. But there’s no map to your destination, no secret instructions to follow to get where you are headed.

Start walking, and own your unique trajectory.

Primal instinct

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Some crises are ok to be handled quickly and instinctively. A central brain takes control, and gives instructions to the rest of the body on what to do.

If the building is on fire, an alarm will ring to tell everyone to get out.

If a person points a gun at you, you take cover.

If you see a red traffic light, you stop.

If the boat is sinking, the personnel takes the lead and everyone follows.

If the deadline is tomorrow, you stick to the plan somebody else might have drafted.

Most of the crises we meet day after day, though, are not really this kind of crises. They involve multiple people, they feature moving pieces, feelings, and opinions, they depend on personal preferences and environmental circumstances.

They are complex.

Of course, we still want to react quickly and instinctively. We want to take control and centralize decision-making, pass on instructions (to ourselves and others), and make the crisis go away. We do want that so much, that often we frame as “crisis” even fairly normal situations, just so that we can avoid thinking and start (re)acting.

That’s seldom the best thing to do.

Most crises and difficulties are actually the right moment to open up.

To ask questions, explore possibilities, hear what others would do or have done in similar circumstances, try something and possibly change direction if it’s not working, make mistakes and learn.

By all means, a decision will have to eventually be taken, and actions will have to follow. But to overcome the first, ready-made decision the brain is offering, you’ll have to be as open as you possibly can.

So, if your marketing campaign is not working, if sales are stagnating, if your product gets more negative than positive feedback, if customer service cannot keep up, if a team member is unhappy, if you did not get the funding you were expecting.

Move past your primal instict.