I love how this article by Brad Stulberg sums up many of my thoughts and beliefs around practice and awareness.
The relationship between self-discipline and self-compassion is reciprocal. One feeds the other and we need to find a way to keep them in balance.
It’s the only way to avoid getting stuck.
It’s the only way to do meaningful work.
I am sorry does not heal the wound.
It does not solve the problem, it does not undo what was done, it does not wipe out an unpleasant memory.
I am sorry is not a wand to wave at distressing situations. It does not draw a plan for the future and it does not promise it will not happen again. It does not go any farther than you want it to go. It often does not fill the gap. Very rarely it changes the narrative. And it never is the end to a conversation.
I am sorry does not do any of the above.
Yet without I am sorry none of the above can ever happen.
I am sorry is the essential stepping stone to what comes next in any kind of relationship.
What actually is next depends on you.
At some point, you have to realize that busyness is hurting people around you.
It hurts your boss, who cannot count on you to deliver what you should.
It hurts colleagues and team members, who have to deal with somebody who is unprepared and unresponsive.
It hurts your partner and kids, who never know when you will be around with body and mind.
It hurts your friends, who are stuck listening to the stories you keep telling.
Many consider busyness as a measure of success. It is actually more often a measure of how far you are pushing your responsibilities.
The best thing to get something done on a lazy day is to make a list.
And the best list you can do is planned, intentional, and purposeful.
Planned, because you have to prepare it in advance. To give it time to rest, to ensure you are putting some thoughts into it, to have it ready when the day kicks off.
Intentional, because you are the one in charge. Don’t make other people’s priorities get onto the list, unless you find a way to make them yours as well.
Purposeful, because the items on the list need to fit your purpose for the day. Even better if, when completed, they drop you a little bit closer to a bigger purpose.
Might work as well for not-so-lazy days after all.
Dreams, just like ideas, have three possible outcome.
Outcome number one. They die. You had a dream, you believed in it for a while, you do not believe in it anymore, it dies. That is what happens to most dreams. Goodbye.
Outcome number two. You keep them out. You think about them. You perfect them. When you get a piece of them, you push them further by fantasizing on an even more perfect version of them. You alienate them from the world around. You make them a central focus of your inner life and emotions without internalizing them. They get to serve a sort of function, like the carrot for the donkey: they give you purpose, and they are also the primary reason why you are often unsatisfied and sad.
Outcome number three. You bring them to your world. And it is not mainly a matter of sharing them (though you might, you should). It is mainly you adjusting them, making them grow with you (and with your world), shrinking and expanding them depending on circumstances and people, using them as a lens through which you look at your current reality. Doing this effectively basically means that you will end up living a life in which each step you take is part of the dream, because the dream is more of a purpose, it is a frame for each one of your efforts.
Dreams, just like ideas, are great starters, they boost motivation and keep the morale high for a while. What happens with them though depends on you.
You've got this 