Sometimes you need a critic, as they might take you back to earth and set you on a path of improvement. Sometimes you need a cheerleader, as they might give you that boost of confidence you are lacking to truly appreciate what you have just achieved.
And you always need a coach. They will see your trajectory and help you find what you need to get there.
You need to be able to discern between different shades and understand that most of what is good happens in the middle.
You can support a candidate even if their thinking does not match yours 1:1.
You can have a conversation with someone even when you do not share the same view of the world.
You can be committed to a project even when it’s a cause of stress and disappointment.
You can love someone even if your heart does not beat faster every time you see them.
You can appreciate a person even though you would not give them certain responsibilities.
Idealizing and romanticizing is the enemy of contentment.
Take a complex project. Break it down into smaller parts. Put those parts on a calendar, while being reasonable about the time and effort each one will take. Start doing and go back to the calendar often to keep things on track.
Complexity will look a lot less scary.
It is the fantasizing, the preoccupation, the chaos, the distractions that get in the way of delivering.
Get back ownership of your capability to deliver.
Others will never be as excited as we are about what we do. Nor will they be as committed, as ready, as present, as purposeful, as proactive, as determined.
The first thing we ought to do when we care about something is to let go of how others will relate to it.
And that’s where “do what you like” is an advice that actually makes sense. Find something that you like, something you would do no matter what. How others will react to it is then going to be a byproduct of doing that can only add to the pleasure. Even when the reaction is minimal.
At work, you can be reactive or intentional.
When you are reactive, you drop everything you are doing every time a new urgency comes in. You are stuck in a spiral of novelty and unfinished work. You feel powerless and you often end your days with the overwhelming impression of not having accomplished anything important.
When you are intentional, you respond to a new urgency with a deep breath. You finish the work you are doing, or at the very least make sure that you have a solid plan to finish it or to delegate it to someone else. You take out your plan and you check how the urgency can fit. You say no. You feel in control and you often end your days with the priceless recognition of being done.
The reactive mode is fascinating, because it gives us (and others) the illusion of being relevant, important, busy. It’s what most people call “good job!”. Of course, in reactive mode nothing ever changes, and in the long term you are simply drained.
The intentional mode is a choice. It might go unnoticed for a while, because you are not waving your arms in the face of everyone. And of course, in intentional mode you can affect real change.
To understand your default mode, take note of what happens next time your boss calls with a new thing to do.
Then, make the choice.
You've got this 