Tag: relationships

Protect or build

Fabrizio1 Comment

You can protect your name, your reputation, your prestige. Or you can build it.

Rarely you can do both at the same time.

Protecting is about public relations, networking, promising, giving speeches. It is a reactive game. It is about ensuring that what you do determines who you are, how others see you. It is trying to control the outcome, that you can’t really control.

Building is about doing. It is a proactive game. It is about ensuring that who you are determines what you do, day after day. It is fully mastering the input, that you can always control.

Choose carefully.

How far

Fabrizio1 Comment

At some point, you have to realize that busyness is hurting people around you.

It hurts your boss, who cannot count on you to deliver what you should.

It hurts colleagues and team members, who have to deal with somebody who is unprepared and unresponsive.

It hurts your partner and kids, who never know when you will be around with body and mind.

It hurts your friends, who are stuck listening to the stories you keep telling.

Many consider busyness as a measure of success. It is actually more often a measure of how far you are pushing your responsibilities.

Overestimating

Fabrizio1 Comment

We are bad at communicating in written form.

We overestimate our capability to share meaning via a written message, and most importantly to share the underlying emotions, mainly because we fail to understand that our audience is often in a different state of mind.

Two considerations.

If you are about to send a written message, and even more so if you do that for a living (as is the case for marketers), you will increase the chances to be effective when you spend enough time understanding who you are sending to. Also, if you plan to add some color to the message (anger, sadness, sarcasm, humor), use visual cues (emoticons, GIFs, images).

If you are responsible for the internal communication of an organization, you will increase the chances for your employees to be effective by providing more training and tools that support visual communication rather than written communication.

Fair

Fabrizio1 Comment

If you look around for fairness, you will find little of it.

Different people see the world in different ways, and fair becomes a fluid concept when you change perspective.

If you look inside for fairness, on the other hand, that is something you can more easily work with. You can train it, build it, apply it, and eventually spread it around. You can make it contagious, and impact those who are close to you.

And it all starts with being fair to yourself. What can you expect of you? What will you hold yourself accountable for? How will you express this to others, how will your actions impact them, and how are you going to find out?

Before asking the world to be fair, ask that of yourself. Imagine if everyone would do that.

Rapport

FabrizioLeave a comment

Just because you say it needs to happen, doesn’t mean it will happen.

If you give somebody an urgency, you better frame it in a way that makes sense to them or to the greater cause. Important is subjective, even when you are close, even when you work in the same team, even when there is a generic agreement on high level targets.

A sure way to inspire action is to build rapport first. Trust is what makes things important for a group of people. Not because somebody says it, but because we have a common understanding and we are in this together.

Just because it will happen, doesn’t mean you have changed their minds.

Of course, if you repeat that something is important enough times, people will eventually go ahead and merely do it. And next time you will have to ask again, repeat again, exhaust them again.

A sure way to inspire change is to sustain rapport. Dedicate time to it, expand it, nurture it, heal it, prioritize it, protect it. Not because somebody wants something, but because you care.