Tag: relationships

What is wrong?

FabrizioLeave a comment

How many of the things we call our flaws, of the traits we don’t like about us, of the behaviors we want to hide, are such because we are in the wrong situation?

Are we really afraid of speaking in front of an audience, or is it because we have always spoken in front of the wrong audience?

Should we call ourselves temperamental, or is it because nobody has ever took a minute to explain what was happening?

Do we really reject close relationships, or is it because the people we have been close to have hurt us deeply?

Are you wrong, or is the situation wrong?

Should you change yourself, or should you change the people you are with, the things you are doing, the place you call home?

Always work on yourself.

And figuring out what is wrong is part of the process.

Not selfish

FabrizioLeave a comment

You owe it to others to spend time with yourself.

You owe it to those you love and to those you engage with. It’s not a selfish act. It helps you to feel confident and comfortable with whoever you are, which is something you ask others to do all the time. In relationships, at work, in casual conversations and encounters.

It starts with you.

Very small step

FabrizioLeave a comment

When something seems to big to tackle, it’s ok to start with just a small part of it.

You don’t have to start with being a content creator, you can start with one post.

You don’t have to get straight into that difficult conversation, you can start by meeting on a different topic.

You don’t have to share the bad news with your dear ones, you can start by spending time with them.

Many hide instead, but there is immense value in starting with a very small step.

The lonely way

FabrizioLeave a comment

People will always try to get things their own way. It’s the shortest path to comfort.

Nobody likes to argue.

Nobody likes to compromise.

Nobody likes to change their mind or their ways.

Nobody likes a difficult conversation.

Nobody likes new.

People will always try to get things their own way, and you will try to get things your own way too.

But there’s no progress with holding onto your way when people around you, repeatedly, say they want something else.

You can still try to get things your way.

And you can go alone.

Discomfort

FabrizioLeave a comment

You have an idea.

And that idea initiates some feelings. Excitement, perhaps. Or anticipation. Or frustration. Or anger. Or fear.

And to mitigate that, you take an action, right there, in the moment.

You send a message.

You ask a question.

You check the status.

You share the idea.

You push for delivery.

You do it yourself.

The point here is that the shorter the time between the idea and the action, the more the action is not about the idea, but about the feeling and your desire to push it away. To clarify, to push it onto somebody else. To give away the ownership of that thing that makes you uncomfortable.

On the other hand, of course, the longer the time between the idea and the action, the more the action is exactly about the idea. The feeling has dissipated by then, and you have probably learned something about yourself, about the feeling, about the idea, and about how to make the action right on point.

Learn to live with your discomfort.