Tag: relationships

Own the silence

FabrizioLeave a comment

It’s ok to be quite.

There is no rule that tells you should be taking your turn in meetings, dumping words in an email threads, using a stopwatch to measure how long has been since you have said something.

Relevance is not measured by how loud or vocal you are.

It’s ok to be quite, and it’s ok to take a break from the constant hustle of demonstrating you know.

Try any of the following to better direct your effort.

Is there anything in particular you would like my input on?

I am not familiar with the issue, so I feel I can’t contribute much.

This is a topic I would like to discuss separately.

I agree with what was discussed so far.

Silence can be valuable, once you take ownership of it.

Whenever you are ready

FabrizioLeave a comment

Languishing is very real. And the best place you can start from is to acknowledge it is.

You might not yet be able to get out of this state, this weird absence of mental health, but self-awareness is always the first step towards something better.

Doing (without interruption) and connecting (with the intent to share) are great second steps, whenever you are ready.

Not how it works

FabrizioLeave a comment

Do something because you want to try.

Because you want to start a new habit, because it is a thing you might like, because you know that somebody will feel better. Do something because you are running out of time or because you have too much time on your hands. Do it because it makes sense, because it is the right thing to do, because you know you can handle it. Or perhaps to test yourself, to stretch your skills and build new muscles. Do something when you have nothing to do, when you have too much to do, when you feel down, and when you feel energetic.

But never do because you expect someone to do something in return.

That’s just not how it works.

Shades

FabrizioLeave a comment

Feeling ineffective is very different from feeling worthless.

Being down is not the same as being miserable.

If someone irritates us, it’s not the same as if they would enrage us.

When we feel regret for a situation, that does not make the situation humiliating.

Language is made of shades. And when it comes to emotions, in particular, being able to verbalize the different levels of intensity can make the difference between seeing options and getting lost.

We can get better at expressing how we feel, and this vocabulary of emotions by Ed Batista is a fantastic tool for that.

How are you feeling today?

Trajectory

FabrizioLeave a comment

Don’t work for people you don’t want to become. (cit. Shane Parris)

Also, don’t date, don’t hang out with, don’t support people you don’t want to become. Those in our circles set the tone for the environment we live in. We have values and principles we aim to stick to, and we are better off when the people we invite on the journey aim to stick to them as well.

Find the examples, foster the relationships, and treasure the opportunities.

Those are the connections that make it all worth it.