There is a profound difference between asking “Do you need help?” and showing up with the tools, the mindset, the preparedness to roll up your sleeves and genuinely help.
Tag: relationships
Simple and difficult
The first step to achieve most things is figuring out what you want to do.
It is true for life, for career, for relationships. It is true for values and purpose too. It is true when deciding what to study, where to go on holidays, whether or not you should move abroad.
I know it might seem trivial, but many times what we end up doing has little relationship with what we want to do. And so, it’s good to dedicate time and energy to figuring out the first step.
Ask difficult questions.
What do I care about?
What type of person do I want to be?
What do I see when I look ten years from now?
What does success look like for me?
Once this is clear, then the second step is to go all-in.
This is where the challenge starts.
The moment you have made up your mind is the moment you start to be distracted and seduced by a million other possibilities. And the longer your resolution stands, the easier it will be to get demotivated and disappointed, as the path unfolding is never immediately, exactly the one you had imagined.
There is no shortcut though. You can’t achieve much by investing 10%, 50%, 99% of the effort. You can’t change course at the first opportunity, or falter in front of the umpteenth challenge. You can decide to go somewhere else, sure, but you have to go back to step one for that to be effective. And it won’t be any easier.
How simple is this to understand. How difficult to practice.
It is today
When you are a founder or a co-founder at a startup, you ARE a leader.
You might be inexperienced and you might also be not so happy about it. But that is no excuse to not own your responsibilities towards the people in your team. It is no excuse to treat them poorly, to pressure them with your stress, to not be transparent, to act like a friend and like a baby in two consecutive interactions, to shout and lose your temper, to not provide vision and guidance, to be bossy and micro-managing, to pretend people’s growth and development will magically happen.
There’s plenty of help to be sought out there. Coaching, training, consulting, mentoring. Reach out to somebody and let them help you.
You might not feel like a leader today, but it is today you have to start becoming one.
Relationships over ideas
Start something new with a relationship, not with an idea.
Whether it’s a new job or a new project, a new role or a new country, a new company or a new responsibility. Identify the ones who own a stake in what you are going to do, sit with them, and listen. Gather their problems, their expectations, their motivators, their goals, their ambitions. Be friendly and genuinely interested.
With this knowledge, you can shape the work in a way that serves a real purpose. At the very least, you will have found supporters and sponsors for what will come next.
We think we know
We think we know, and we know nothing.
We think we know how other people feel, think, prioritise, decide.
We think we know the full picture of the situation we are in.
We think we know what’s important, what matters, what everyone should be focused on.
We think we know what’s going to happen tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and next week, and next month.
We think we know the consequences of our choices on ourselves and others.
We think we know the answer to the question, and the question no one is asking.
We think we know how others see us.
We think we know how we feel, think, prioritise, decide.
And we know nothing.
Accept this simple fact, and you’ll be free.
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