Tag: relationships

Straight line

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you look at success narrowly, you are pretty much stuck on a single, straight line.

It might be that achieving prestige, power, wealth is indeed your definition of success. That making as much money as possible is what drives you, what makes you feel good, your purpose in life.

But it might as well be that this version does not work for you. Actually, that is most likely. And so, what is the measure of a successful life? When you will look back at an older age, what will you see? What will you remember? What will move you to tears? Is that the next deal you are putting so much effort on? Is that the next 1,000 MQLs? Is that the role you crave to be promoted to?

Again, it might.

The problem though is that most of us are in the game just because somebody else told them that is what matters. And so we walk on the line, so desperately focused that when we stumble, we do not realize there are other lines close by to hang on to.

Life should not be miserable.

There comes a time when you ought to start doing what you want. Take a job that you love. You will jump out of bed in the morning. I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don’t like because you think it will look good on your resume. Isn’t that a little like saving up sex for your old age?

Warren Buffett

The people you lead

FabrizioLeave a comment

It is the most difficult thing to understand, and perhaps the single biggest differentiator between a good leader and a mere manager.

The moment you start leading a team of people, your main responsibility shifts to them.

It is not to your boss, it is not to the management team, it is not to the executives, to other departments, to the board or to the company. Of course you also have responsibilities to these individuals and groups. But the main one, the one that defines your role, the one for which you will be measured in your leadership skills is to the people you lead.

Do you know them? Do you know their fears, motivators, ambitions, strengths? Do you know how they feel? Are you ready to have difficult conversations with them? Do you have an idea of where they have been professionally and have a plan for their future development? Do they come to you with ideas? Do you challenge them with problems? How do you discuss with them about their mistakes?

It is an extremely important relationship to build. And you have to allocate time for that before anything else.

Nothing wrong

FabrizioLeave a comment

I did nothing wrong.

Defensiveness is often the go-to strategy when we are put on the spot. In all honesty, though, we would be more accurate saying I did mean nothing wrong, or even better My intentions were in the right place.

When somebody negatively reacts to something we did or said, something clicks in our mind that forces us to preserve our reputation. It is a natural mechanism, nothing easily preventable, but if you think about it, that “something” is assuming that: 1. we are infallible; 2. if we fail, we fail deeply, as a person, as a human being.

Both are false, of course. And so, next time you feel the urge to say I did nothing wrong, stop for a moment and try instead asking How did what I said felt?, or What can I do better next time?, or even How can I make this right?

It is only by avoiding to take things personally and by expressing a real interest in what the others feel and perceive that we can build strong relationships.

And become, little by little, an improved version of a human being.

Envy

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you stop looking at others as threats to your own success, they will automatically turn into a possibility to learn, into someone who can enable your next project, into people you can help in their own journey.

It is just a matter of perspective.

Winning machine

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you have a new idea, it is quite difficult to avoid having all your following thoughts gravitate around it.

If a new slogan comes to you in the middle of the night, all the successive iterations will just be slight variations.

If you think at a solution for a problem you have had for a while, you will expand and stretch the solution until it gets good enough to actually cover at least a small part of the problem.

If the process you have just implemented has proven successful, you will use it until it is too late to understand it is no longer up-to-date.

A possible way around this could be to ask different people to come up with a new idea. Or to foster an environment in which it is normal that different people come up with a variety of new ideas. If you match with a process that clearly defines what gets picked, what gets postponed and what gets rejected, you have a winning machine.