Tag: problems

The first step

FabrizioLeave a comment

Looking at things from another person’s perspective does not mean you are giving up. It does not mean you are wrong. It does not mean you agree with them. It does not mean that you are going to change your mind.

It merely means that you are open to accept that the other person is living through different circumstances, has a different set of prioritites, has different feelings, fears, and thoughts. It means you are ready to appreciate how variegated human behaviour can be. And it means that you care.

It’s not a loss. It’s the first step towards building empathy.

Managing disengagement

FabrizioLeave a comment

You can’t just let disengagement be. You have to manage it.

It’s easy to manage motivated people, people you like to work with, people who are talented and constantly deliver good work. It’s more challenging to manage those who are disillusioned, who have have little ambition and feel out of place, who end up meeting all requests with silence and a nod.

And you can’t just let them be. Because disengagement spreads and it touches everyone it meets.

It’s likely that disengaged people will end up leaving. It’s your responsibility to manage the transition. To ensure they get the best deal out of it. And to ensure that they don’t leave disengagement behind.

In the shades

FabrizioLeave a comment

It’s not you vs your boss, your colleague, your partner, your friend, your child.

It’s not us vs the bigots, the social media, the conservatives, the progressives.

We suffer as they suffer. You feel as they feel. I act as you act.

Life is not a dichotomy and you are very rarely required to take sides.

It’s in the shades that we meet and thrive.

What is keeping you?

FabrizioLeave a comment

That thing that’s keeping you from delivering on your promise – to yourself or to someone else. Is that an excuse or a reason?

People – ourselves included – have little tolerance for excuses. If we keep repeating them over and over again, they do not become more acceptable. They simply make the relationship more difficult.

Understand the difference and take a stand.

Fun fact: we tend to hide excuses, burying them inside long monologues or beyond a volatile interpretation of data. Reasons, on the other end, emerge whenever we need to strengthen a connection.

Creatures of inputs

FabrizioLeave a comment

You need to deploy a lot of strength to get rid of bad habits.

If you check your phone every five minutes, that’s a feeling of continuos anticipation of what you might learn.

If you read work emails in the evenings, that’s a feeling of commitment and importance and busyness.

If you eat a sweet snack four or five times a day, that’s a feeling of satisfaction and fullness.

Of course, tha aftermath of a bad habit is never as good as the moment that leads to it. But we are creatures of inputs, not creatures of outputs. We care about what comes before – the thoughts, the wondering, the emotions.

That’s why you need strength to get rid of a bad habit. Start with the phone, the emails, the snack, whatever you know will lead you there.

Half measures do not work in this case.