Tag: problems

Words of comfort

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When is the last time you gave someone words of comfort?

When is the last time you gave yourself words of comfort?

We are often harsh with others and even harsher with ourselves. We are made harsh by an environment that sees urgency, competition, threats everywhere. We need to come out on top, we need to be better, we need to be first. Chasing drifting concepts to pursue a satisfaction that will always be pushed further.

No matter where you are today, you have everything you need. You are the best version of yourself and people around you are lucky to have you in their lives. You are you, no matter what comes next.

You’ve got this.

The pledge

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Engagement is a pledge.

The deal though is no longer safety, money, and certainty in exchange for work, compliance, and loyalty.

We understand well enough that workers nowadays need to put in something more than mere hours, textbook task completion, checkbox performance. We ask them to be creative, innovative, collaborative, personal, candid, proactive.

What we struggle to understand, instead, is that the way to incentivize that has changed as well.

So, the next time you lead a project, a change, an enterprise ask yourself what your side of the pledge is.

Is it keeping everyone in the dark until the big reveal? Is it making all of the key decisions? Is it allocating five minutes at the end of the next meeting for everyone to share what they think? Is it distributing information to create hierarchies and factions?

Probably not.

Excited by the process

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The world is full with emails that lay out brilliant plans.

And it is full (though admittedly less so) with excited replies to those emails, expressing a convinced “I am in!”.

But the difference is in what comes after that.

Some people are excited by the process of getting things done, bringing the team together, convincing the skeptics, repeating the details over and over again, changing their minds, changing other people’s minds, navigating the ups and downs, waking up to failure, presenting in front of a crowd, putting in the work.

Some people are excited by the idea and see all of the above as an insurmountable obstacle.

You are probably part of one group or the other depending on circumstances. Just be aware that it is a choice you can make, an attitude you can change.

Fitting in

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The problem with fit is that it tends to average.

And the even bigger problem for you is that it prevents you from being you.

When you try to fit – by using a jargon that everyone else is using, by going through a career trajectory that everybody can recognize, by telling a story that everyone feels comfortable with – you essentially hide your differences for the sake of harmony. It is normal to want to do that, even advisable in some instances.

But what happens once you are in, feel at ease, and attempt to express that part you hid? Here is a strong risk of a life of misery.

There are two things you can do to mitigate that.

First, you have to be selective with the groups you want to be part of. Not all groups are worth fitting in – which is, again, essentially losing a little part of you. Some groups are more open to differences than others – which means having to hide less, or nothing.

Second, you need to work on your story in a way that eases you into fitting in (the groups you selected). You own your story, you choose what to tell about, how to tell about it, and by making your story an expression of yourself, you signal to the group who you are and what they can expect from you.

Come and go

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Things come and go. They come again and they go again. Other things will come and go.

And so on.

The only aspect you can really affect is the way things impact you. A rainy day can be a disaster or an opportunity. An argument with a friend can be a deal-breaker or a change in perspective. A rejection can get you down or give renewed energy.

You need intention when interacting with the world.