Tag: problems

What to aim for

FabrizioLeave a comment

The biggest problem with self-help books, business reviews, parenting blogs, marketing podcasts is that they give you a kick when your mind is at peace and make you feel awful the exact same moment things get hectic and you fail to follow their advice.

Hearing about what somebody else has done in similar circumstances is not going to shield us from pain, frustration, anger, and thousands of other feelings when the situation comes to us.

Life is tough, no matter what.

Finding your way, the way you can call your own and be proud of, is what you should aim for.

Embrace the mess

FabrizioLeave a comment

The best way to be in charge of something is to embrace the mess.

Of course, you should be committed and you should deeply care. You should bring your A-game and make sure that everybody involved can bring their own too. You should plan and execute and iterate and educate and plan some more.

And then, when chaos strikes, as it certainly will, you should be ready to throw everything in the air and play with the mess of the new setting.

It might not only be the best way, but also the only one.

Grounded

FabrizioLeave a comment

We are bad at estimating and predicting. Our gut feeling is nothing more than a feeling. We have opinions and ideas that are, for the most part, pretty average. In almost every situation, there is at least someone else who is more prepared, more qualified, more worthy than we are. When we think we are giving advice, we are actually mostly telling others to do what we have not found the courage to do ourselves. We are different and unique, yet not necessarily better, more prepared, or smarter.

When we remain grounded, it is much easier to appreciate ourselves and others.

A difference that matters

FabrizioLeave a comment

There are two different mindsets with which you can approach a request for help.

One defaults to figuring out how the act of helping does impact one’s own routine.

Does it mean I will have to wake up earlier? Does it mean I will have to postpone my planned holiday? Does it mean I will have to renounce a relaxing evening watching my favourite TV series?

The other defaults to caring about how the act of helping does impact the other person’s life.

The two mindsets often have very similar outcomes. Because when somebody asks for help, people in general tend to give help.

The difference though is in how you feel about helping – and whether or not you will seek to help more in the future – and in how the other person feels about you helping – and whether or not they will seek help more freely in the future.

It is a difference that matters.

Diminishing returns

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you muscle through an additional hour of work at the end of an intense day, the marginal return of the additional hour is negative.

When you take on another project during a period of intense activity for the whole team, the marginal return of the additional project is negative.

When you push yourself way beyond your physical limit after two hours of intense workout, the marginal return of the additional effort is negative.

When you send just one more comment on top of a chat conversation that already features more than twenty other voices, the marginal return of the additional comment is negative.

When you read one more article on a topic you are ready to write a full thesis about, the marginal return of the additional article is negative.

The cost of not knowing when it is time to stop is diminishing returns that compound over time.

It is exhausting.